Pointless Boxing Day Ramblings...

Gosh... it's been months! Hoobledoop! =]

It's boxing day today and I have the world's worst ear infection. It fucking kills. I've had it since yesterday (yes, I was unfortunately dying on christmas day!).

It's been so long since I wrote any form of bloggishness that I have absolutely no idea what to write... But meeeeeeeeeep! XD

I have exams after the christmas holidays... I only have two (psychology and applied science) but It's still rather scary!

Anyway... I think I'm going to stop pointlessly typing and write and maybe write a blog when I have something to write about...

bye.

Prpductive Procrastination...

Meep. It's been like 6 days or something since I superglued my eye shut. It's still not open and it looks and feels like someone's punched it because i rubbed it too much. It's getting more and more open though. I have a feeling it'll be pretty much open some time in the next 24 hours. IT'S SO FUCKING ITCHY! >.<

Meep. I have psychology homework. I have no idea what to do, hence the usual procrastination. I have double psychology in like 5 hours... I hope it doesn't have to be in today.

For the last 2 days I've been watching a film called Cronos. I keep falling asleep during it though. I think it's mainly to do with one of my eyes being shut. It takes hoobloads of effort to keep the other eye open. In fact, I think I'll attempt to finish watching it when I've finished writing this. Might as well do something mildly productive as a form of procrastination... Wow... Productive procrastination, how paradoxical!

Wow. I have nothing else to say. Hoobletoodledoo!

beauty, glue and zen buddhism

This blog may or may not be coherent. I had it well structured in my head about half an hour ago, but then I kind of forgot about it and remembered it, so yeah...

A year ago things were slipping to say the least. Currently, nothing's perfect but it's a lot less unperfect than it was this time last year. I'm rather happy with right now. =]

A year ago I was living in Manchester. I miss it a lot and still agree that it's a better place than Wales. I loved it there, but I've realised that I definitely prefer not living with my mum. It's not because I don't like my mum, it's just that we're not compatible in a residential environment.
Manchester was beautiful. The buildings were a lot more interesting than the ones here. I liked all the variation in the structure and architecture there. I found all the graffiti and dark alleys and stuff beautiful (not that there's not any of that stuff here, but it fits in better with Manchester). I've always found beauty in decay, and the beauty in urban decay is no different. Wales is beautiful too, but in a more stereotypical way with the beauty in nature and whatnot and there's still a satisfactory amount of urban decay. Meep. I wanna say something about chav culture here but I can't think what to say... Fuck it, there's beauty everywhere!!

I've been learning all about Zen Buddhism (for sociology homework which now has diet coke spilled all over it) and it seems to make more sense than most religions/philosophies/whatever.

Ooohh... on Sunday, I was fixing a yoyo and got superglue all over my hands. Stupidly, I rubbed my eye and couldn't move my finger from it. I felt like a right retard sitting in A&E with my finger stuck to my eye. Eventually my finger got seperated. Unfortunately, my eye is still glued together. I have a patch on it and people keep making pirate jokes. The pirate jokes were funny at first (like the whole situation was!) but now I'm getting fed up of them. I'm also fed up of only being able to use one eye. I wonder how long it'll take for my eye to open. So far no amount of water, soap, salt, vaseline and other random crap has worked. My eye is so fucking itchy and annoying. It's gone all swollen and ick. Cyanoacrylate is evil! But still, LOL@me :P

In applied sciency biologyness I got 77% in a test about the heart, the cardiac cycle etc. I was rather proud of that, as I don't think I've got over 50% in a test without cheating for years! I also got 9/20 in psychology and that was without any revision, so yay! I keep doing better in things than I expect. =]

Must dash, need to tidy my desk! Hoobletoodledoooo!

coughspluttermeep

I should be in sociology right now. Instead, I'm stuck at home constantly coughing. Ventolin seemed to help for a bit, but I don't want to accidentally overdose on it or anything, so I'm going easy on the Ventolin.

I fucking love the postman! Today I got 2 bits of post... The most boring bank statement ever and Who Killed Amanda Palmer!
Who Killed Amanda Palmer is fucking amazing! =]

As well as having a hoobacious CD, I just had the best jam I've ever had on my toast. It was yummy yummy yummy.

Urgh. I hate having a lack of breathing properlyness >.< I actually WANT to be in school today!

Meeplemop. I guess I can have a day of Amanda Palmer, hoobage and tea...

stufffff

People are cocks I tell thee... COCKKKSSSS!!!! I'm so fucking sick of everybody and I don't even know why. =/ Gosh... Aren't I just a bundle of joy!

Anyway. I'm not going to pretend I'm against material possessions, but I do think they are the root of all evil.

Meh! I really can't be bothered elaborating on anything at the moment but meep.

I'm seriously considering dropping out of school.

Itchy itchy itchy.

Meep.

Hoobletoodledoo

Back to school!

Today was the first day of school. It was weird being back there after such a long time and it was even weirder not being in the same year as most of my friends. I was dreading it. I was really freaking out. I feel silly now though because it was rather hoobacious! I'm actually vaguely looking forward to tomorrow!

Heh. The careers advisor made a horrible grammatical error. It almost made my brain disintegrate. She wrote 'Pro's and con's' on the thingy. I'm 150% there's not supposed to be apostrophes before s in either of those words!

Today we made the discovery of riboflavin, a liquid substance which is extracted from socks.

I'm so sleepy. I've been awake for ages and ages. I think I'm going to go to sleep soon.
Short blog but meep. Nighty night.

phmtygod

I'm drubnk.
BUt. meep. this doesnt make this less real.
Went for a waalk in the graveyard. Sat down. Felt presence. He put his arm round me. It wasn't evrn scary. Just sad. Veyr sad.
If I looked direct;y st him I COUL dnt see him, but i xould see him in my peripheral bvisipn. He had short brown haitr swept to one side and somehow I knew he died between 1935 and 1945. MY B35ts are on yhe second world war. He was between 20 nD 35 years old. He was sad. He was lonely. Hw W as sitting rihyt next to me. I', not being weitfd. this acrually happended a nd i t wasd real.
I soudn silly wo im going to srop writing.

I HAVE A BED!

I HAVE A BED! =]
Today I changed round my room, threw out loads of crap, organised ALL of my drawers... and wowowow! It's so different... not exactly tidy yet but meeplemop! It's getting there!

It's going to be weird sleeping in my bed. For the last few years it's just been a mattress on the floor. I put a small basketball thing in there in case I get bored up there. Although I will probably have Larry up there with me whenever I'm up there anyway... although I can't find a way to get the wire thingy to go up there without falling out and getting potentially chewed up by Morrissey and Miyavi.

I've just made a new deviantart thing. I didn't like my old username (deadstardust) - it was too depressing and stuff. Really not a me kind of name.

I love chess! The more I play the more secrets I learn. Fascinating stuff!

I keep spilling my tea. Meeples.

Vaginas, Alcohol and Invisichess...

I've fixed Larry! Well, when I say fixed, I mean he's vaguely useable...

I'm so bored today. Although I have just spent the last few minutes rolling on the floor laughing at this. It's not funny and it does sound painful. I just liked the step-by-step explanation of a sponge being removed from Amanda Palmer's vagina. Gosh, I hope I never get anything stuck up there! =/

Talking of Amanda Palmer... I can't wait for Who Killed Amanda Palmer? to come out... and I NEED to get my ticket for the gig in Manchester.

Tomorrow I plan to clear out everything from the top of my 'bed' thing so I can take the mattress off the floor and make my bed into a bed again. I'm also going to get a desk this week in my quest to become a complete geek before September.

Recently it seems my alcohol tolerance has gone through the roof! I can drink the same amount that would have got me rather tipsy about a year ago and not feel a thing. It's quite a shame really because it means I have to drink more to achieve the same level of inebriastedness. Yes, inebriasted - It originated as a drunken typo and I've concluded that it means somewhere between inebriated and wasted. Fiendish, innit!

I'm currently playing a game of invisichess with le grandmother. It's a game I made up. It's basically chess, but if the other person sees you make your move you lose. It's going to take forever because we can only make moves when the other person is out or on the toilet or something. We're on about the 3rd move now. It's vaguely interesting!

Oh, and I've finally finished Breaking Dawn, which was fantabbyhooby! :)

Currently listening to: The Beatles - Across the universe.
Currently located: On the sofa.
Currently drinking: Nowt.

Smoke!

Y'know that thing that happens when you look through smoke? The one where everything goes all wobbly and distorted? Well, I've just realised that that's like life... Everything's ok, but it seems a lot worse than it is. Like, right now I'm about to go back to school after almost a year of doing fuck all after quitting college. I miss college, I wish I hadn't quit, but would I really want to still be in my mothers house? I'm back with the grandparents. I like it here. I'm majorly freaked out about going to school (mainly because I'll be a year behind all my friends and I'm half convinced I'll quit it after a few weeks). But the thing is, even though school is shit, I'm living where I want to live (well, with the people I want to live with at least because Wales sucks!). I've come up with lots of goals. I know what I want to do with my life (well... kind of, until I'm 22...). Everything is hoobacious, but there's loads of smoke making it seem less hoobacious than it actually is. Meep lol! I'm rambling!

In the next 2 weeks, I plan to sort out my bedroom, somehow lose weight, revisit GCSE stuff because it's been over a year and I don't remember any of it (it might come in handy...) and do a few pieces of art stuff just in case school stuff piles up and I don't have enough time to do some art stuff or anything. See. I'm doing stuff! I can't believe I'm going to spend my last couple of weeks of freedom doing this! XD

And another thing, I need to look cool (well, not cool... but like me, not a clone of everyone else) in school... but I can't find the type of clothes I want anywhere! I think I'm going to look through all the charity shops or something.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop writing about this crap and actually get on with it! Hoobletoodledoo!

Currently listening to: Abigail's Mercy - Meaningless
Currently drinking: Evian water... yum!
Currently located: On the floor by the sofa

Yet more ramblings of a vampiric weirdo...

Last night I wrote a long blog, realized it was too fucked up to post and copied and pasted it and privately posted it on my LJ. *rolls eyes*

Right now, I'm listening to Night Reconnaissance by The Dresden Dolls. I love that band. I'm also staring out of my window, watching the whole magnificence of the dawn for (probably) the last time as if it were the first and I'm going to set out to become what I shall become. *apologizes for the shameless Interview With The Vampire rip-off* The sky really is beautiful.

This room really is a mess. Strewn around me are empty vodka bottles, fag boxes, coke cans, glasses, plates and paints. Not to mention the crumbs, pet food and hay! I think I need to consider tidying up.

I need to do my CBT. I also need to make my bike perfect. However, to do that I need to go to Manchester and spend time with the stepfather (easier said than done).

I'm reading New Moon at the moment. I'm rather addicted.

Wow... as soon as I looked away, the sunrise disappeared and was replaced by clouds in varying dull shades of grey and white. Outside doesn't look so beautiful anymore.

I can't stop thinking lots of things (stuff I'm not going to write here) and it's bizarre. Most people would think that what I'm thinking is fucked up. I don't. To me it's perfectly usual. (I avoid the word 'normal' like a group of menacing chavs.

Anyways, it's almost time for The Hoobs and I want to finish this chapter first.

re-wind

Hmm... my life seem to have gone back in time a few years. I have a social life, I'm pretty much completely living with the grandparents and I'm going back to school in September. I should be happy about all this because I guess It means I'm vaguely getting back on track and stuff... I'm not though. I hate it. I don't want to go back to school and the social life feels wrong. I'm not great at being sociable. I've been out every day this week.

Monday
Went to a party at a friends house. Got completely wasted. My right arm is completely fucked up. Apparently I fell over the hoover.

Tuesday
Strange lack of hangover. Wandered around Bangor with a friend. Sat around in the graveyard a lot and went to Lidl about 400 times. Discovered a strange smell.

Wednesday
Hung out with another friend. Went to Tesco and bought vegan ice-cream. Sat around on a hill. Spent ages pondering what to do. Walked a lot.

Thursday
Hung out with another friend. Went to Matalan. Went to the cinema to see The Dark Knight. Great film.

Was a fun week. Not satisfied though. It's like my life's on re-wind. It's horrible. I NEED to be alone. I NEED to not be going back to school. I NEED to change in a positive way, not go round in a complete circle re-thinging everything that's ever made me miserable. Not everything obviously, but I KNOW I'm better off without school. So many shit memories from that place. Not to mention the fact that I'm going to be a year behind everyone.

I need to lock myself away... Hide... Disappear... but everyone knows I'm in Bangor. It's like I'm pushing myself way too far, trying to convince people I'm fixing everything. I'd rather not fix things if this is the way I'm going to fix them... But I know I'll carry on pushing myself until I completely snap. Heh.

There hasn't been a single day this week where I haven't consumed alcohol... Oops. I guess it makes socializing more bearable though. =/

Meep. Hoobletoodledoo.

stuffff

Hmm... I wonder what my insides look like... Probably rather blue, if I take into consideration all the blue crap I've been eating recently. I like blue things. There's so many different moods the colour blue can create. It's awesome. My ukulele is blue! =]

I can now play 'yes my name is iggle piggle...' on the ukulele. I should be ashamed of this, but quite frankly, I'm strangely proud. I've actually learned something new. I can also play a few other songs (come as you are, daydream believer, ace of spades...) but I just love the fact that I can play the In The Night Garden thing. I know I absolutely loathe that show, but knowing how to play that is awesome because it'll be funny to see how the half-brother reacts. Yes, I admit it - I actually like a member of my family! *shock, horror*

The oddest thing just happened. I went ouside for a fag, and some random person asked me for a lighter... at 3:45am! I'm usually the only person around at this time!

In the last couple of days, I've found a few films I actually really like. I haven't seen a film I actually find interesting for quite some time. Last night I watched 'Stay' which was really, really good. Today I watched 'Cube' and 'Cube 2: hypercube' which were also hoobacious!

Anyways. I'm off to paint. Hoobletoodledoo!

QWERTY FTW

I officially have no life. I am sitting on the sofa watching a shite film and playing QWERTY warriors. I'm getting rather good. I got the highest score today! Woo! Go me! <-- See! I love that game! Incidentally, I just lost the game.

The grandmother didn't tape Casualty for me last night, so I'm going to have to watch it on iplayer, which I'm not too pleased about because I absolutely despise iplayer! Meep. At least it means I still get to see it... I'd hate to be Casualty deprived!

I bought a stylophone on ebay. I can't wait for it to arrive. Stylophones seem rather cool! I'm considering buying a ukulele tomorrow. A blue (or possibly pink) ukulele... because I'm super-cool! *puts on a pair of shades to prove the point* Might buy a violin instead though... but everyone seems to play the violin (although I don't blame them because violins sound beautiful).
The thing is, I want to buy all these instruments and become a street performer of sorts (whilst doing a-levels because I'm sensible) but what I really need to spend my money on is a new camera. My 10 megapixel one got sand in it and broke. =[

I really want to become a street performer though. Being some sort of mime would be hoobacious! There was this dude in Manchester last week, I didn't get a proper look at him but he was on stilts, wearing this super long robe thing and it looked exceedingly creepy in an OHMYGODISOFUCKINGWANTTOBETHATGUY kind of way.

I'm getting people to call me Stan... or stanley. Originally Stan stood for 'smiles thanks and nibbles'. (something about hoobycookies in an msn conversation lol).

Last night me and the dyl were sitting on the top of Bangor mountain and Bangor looked huge in a tiny kind of way. It was beautiful... I was a tad inebriated at the time, but still, It was awesome! I felt like a giant. The world is beautiful, but the people in it are scum.

Anyways, I must dash! Need to watch Casualty on iplayer. Hoobletoodledoo!

meeples

I'm sitting on my bed. A lot has been going on recently. I abandoned Facebook and pretty much every other site. I'm slowly working my way back onto various sites, but it's not the same anymore. I've completely lost interest in stuff. I'm trying to ignore the bad stuff that's happening, but it's too hard. However, if writing this blog will make me 'forget' for another few minutes, it can't be a bad thing. It's something to do and nobody reads this anyway!

I've been trying to keep busy. I made a cake at like 1am. It tastes rather good and has shredded wheat on the top of it! It gave me a weird headache-type-thing after one slice though. Maybe it's a bit rich. I watched The Hoobs, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon and now I'm going to read. I think I'm going to go for Artemis Fowl, because I can't remember what it's about and from what I recall, it was rather good. I need to brush up on reading and stuff before September.

I had my interview for le sixth form yesterday. It went really well. I'm supposed to be starting sixth form in September. I'm going to be doing psychology, art, applied science and sociology. I'm a bit bummed about not being able to have visible piercings though. Ah well, I'll just focus on getting more tattoos over the next couple of years!

My tattoo has scabbed over and is rather itchy. It's so tempting to scratch it and pick at it, but mustn't. 'tis an annoyance.

Right now my bedroom is a mess. It is a graveyard of empty cans that once upon a time contained either Diet Coke or Red Bull. There are empty vodka bottles, empty fag packets, dirty clothes, clean clothes, bits of hamster food, degu poo, DVDs and just about everything else you could possibly think of, strewn randomly across the floor. I really can't be bothered cleaning stuff up.

My hair is equally as messy. I don't mind though. I have this new theory that the longer I forget it exists, the cooler it looks. Right now it hasn't been washed for almost 2 weeks and is sticking up in random ways. It's awesome!

Anyways, I'm bored of this so I'm going to go and write a couple of letters. I'm trying to fix everything as much as possible.

Hoobletoodledoo!

heh

I'm really sleepy in an extremely awake, hyper kind of way. I've had hoobloads of red bull. I have to stay awake for another 2 hours and 20 minutes because that's when I've scheduled to talk to my mum about something pretty important (eep!).

Just after the hoobs, I spent some time making a ridiculous picturey story. It's really silly, but at least it occupied some time. You can find it here... if you're bored enough to bother looking at it!

I'm currently watching Big Brother for like the 4th time so far this series. It's weird, every time I watch it I get really into it, yet I have no desire to watch it every day. In previous years, I've always got too addicted to it.. apart from last year where I watched it about twice.

I was talking to the degus earlier and Morrissey nibbled my nose. Twas hoobaciously cute!

I've not really been writing many blogs recently... no idea where my head's at so everything's a bit jumbled. But meep. lol.

hoobletoodledoo

1234567890

4:26am. Once again, I'm awake. I'm tired as fuck. I'd sleep if I could, but I can't. Even if I could, I would probably wait until 7am because whenever I'm awake past 4am (which is pretty much all the time) I feel compelled to stay awake and watch The Hoobs!

I want to go outside for a cigarette. There's a storm though, and as much as I love storms, I had a bath a few hours ago and would rather not get wet again. Although.. If I wore really warm clothes and stood on the doorstep it'd be ok I guess. I'd only be out for a few minutes.

I think I'm actually going to do a 'family thing' today/tomorrow. Might go to Llandudno with the grandparents and 10 year old cousin. I'd rather not, but I've got nothing better to do. Most of my friends are at Wakestock or have something better to do. I need something to do to distract myself from my mind, therefore doing that seems like the way forward!

Oh my golly gosh! I just got exceedingly lost in thought and then I actually ended up saying 'oh my fucking god!' quite loudly because I realised that 'wind' and 'wind' are the same word but pronounced differently mean different things.

I think I should just toddle off outside and stop confusing the world with pointless blog things that probably only make sense to those as bizarre as me.

My first tattoo!!

I just got my first tattoo! It's a heartagram at the top of my back, just under my neck. I absolutely love it! It felt really nice in a strange kind of way. All vibratey and kind of scratchy.. not too scratchy though, kind of like scratching an itch mixed with sunburn.. It felt amazing because it wasn't really painful!

<-- picture of it there! =] ... my neck/shoulders look really weird though because I took the pic in a weird position. Oh, and ignore the cling film! XD

Apart from the getting the tattoo, today has been rather crap. Meep... and there's not much else to say. I might have something to write about later though..

meeples.

Wow. I should be satisfied with everything, but instead I'm unreasonably dissatisfied. I'm not quite sure what's going on in my strange little mind at the moment. It kind of feels like everything's crashing down over my head and penetrating my mind in the most unsavoury manner.

Anyways... I came to the conclusion that Wireless will be shit. The grandmother then decided to offer to buy me a ticket for Wakestock. I'm not entirely sure who's going though. I think I'd rather see my favourite artist and be alone than go to a festival where I might be alone but wander into someone I despise. Meep. Really not sure what to do.

The grandmother persuaded me to go to the doctors today. Apparently I have a trapped nerve in my neck and she also said something about repetitive strain injury. Meep.

I can't sleep. As usual. But I slept for less time than I usually would (which is saying something!) yesterday. I should be able to sleep. I just cant. It sucks. I'm really sleepy too.

I keep accidentally listening to incredibly apt songs.

Not sure what I want to write.

I think I'll go get lots of food and do a spot of comfort eating. =/

Reasons why it sucks to be female...

- Periods. Period.

- Can't shave our heads because it might look silly.

- Can't wander around outside topless with0ut getting arrested.

- Girls seem to get fat easier than guys.

- People automatically assume we're interested in makeup and stuff.

- 100% more chance of becoming pregnant.

- Can't wear guys clothing without being considered butch.

- Girls are generally shorter.

- Boobs get in the way sometimes.

- No chance whatsoever in becoming US president. (although being British and anti-government I really don't give a fuck about that!)

- There's too much male-chauvinism going on.

- All-male sports stuff is more popular... unless you do a really dumb sport like running.

- Girls are too bitchy.

- If you don't have at least 20 pairs of shoes, there must be something wrong with you. (I have 3 and am quite satisfied)

- Girls get drunk easier. (could be considered a good thing, but we also get TOO drunk more easily..)

- If you sleep with lots of people, you become a 'slut'. If guys do this they become some sort of 'stud'.

- People think you're less likely to be able to look after yourself.

- People automatically assume that you love watching romantic comedies.

- It looks worse if you have greasy hair.

- We have to (well, we don't have to - we just do!) remove leg hair, armpit hair and stuff.

- People assume we're evil or something if we don't call everyone 'hunni'.

- Burping and farting isn't 'ladylike'.

The list is endless, but I can't be bothered carrying it on. After writing this, I feel like getting a sex-change!

Morrissey and Cigarettes...

Eep. I impulsively bought a ticket for the O2 Wireless Festival on July 4th. Only to see Morrissey really. It's in less than a week. I'm extremely terrified though because it means going to London alone and possibly hanging round Euston or Birmingham for about 4 or 5 hours. That part wont be fun at all. I'm not even sure the actual festival will be all that fun. After all, who wants to go to a festival alone? I'm insane i tell thee! INSANE! Although it is Morrissey, therefore should be good, no matter how alone I am. I hope it'll be ok. I don't really want to get murdered or anything. It's Morrissey though. I would give my life for Morrissey. He is my God... Absolute fucking legend. I'm glad I bought the ticket even though it's going to possibly be one of the scariest nights of my life! It's all worth it! *needs to stop impulsively buying things!*

What's with cigarette packets? People who start smoking are generally old enough to know the risks! My current pack says something along the lines of 'smoking causes impotence', I don't give a fuck! I'm female FFS! ... 'Smokers die younger' THANK GOD! I don't want to live until I'm about 80, I'd rather die young! Living past the age of 40 definitely doesn't seem worth the effort... Unless of course your name is Steven Patrick Morrissey.... 'Smoking kills' - yeah, we've all heard that one, but It kills indirectly! It's the cancer or the emphysema that kills. Not the cigarettes... I'm not sure why all this angers me, but meep! lol.

Anyways, I'm off to smoke cancer sticks, talk to rodents and drink diet coke.

Another rather pointless blog.

Wow... It's rather dark tonight, much like any other night, but it feels darker for some reason. Not entirely sure why though. Oddness.
I had a rather bad hangover today. I had puke in my hair and it was vile! The hangover has gone now though. So hey ho!
I've been filling in the application form for sixth form. There's a part that says 'your interests in school', I'm not sure what to put there.. I was never really interested in school! I'm not really sure what to put in the 'your interests and hobbies out of school' either.. All I really do is sit around on the computer, drink diet coke, draw random things, listen to music and occasionally get rather wasted. I need to think of something to put that makes me sound good. I'm not exactly an A* student or anything. I really need them to let me back into school, otherwise I'll be completely screwed for another year. It's too late to apply to get back into college. Anyways, I think the subjects I'm going to choose are psychology, art, applied science and sociology.
Right now I'm listening to The Eighties Matchbox B-line Disaster and pondering what to do tonight. I might watch lots of FMA or something... I dunno.
I'm bored of writing this now, so hooble toodle doo!

Irritating degu antics and whatnot.

My degus officially hate me. I just spent 3 - 4 hours trying to get them back in their cage. They were chewing up everything I own. They broke the only thing I have that'll charge my ipod. Not only were they wrecking things and stuff, but they were taunting me too. They knew I wanted them back in the cage, and Morrissey decided to keep crawling onto my lap or shoulder, letting me stroke him a bit and running away. Miyavi kept wandering across my laptop too. It was really quite amusing in a very annoying, frustrating kind of way. Thank fuck they're back in there though. If they were out of the cage for much longer it would have driven me even more insane than I already am. lol.

The hoobs is on in half an hour. I don't think I'm going to watch it though. I might, it's just I want to go for a swim in the lake at about 9am. I could get a couple of hours sleep. Alternatively, I could stay awake and guarantee I will be awake at 9... I need the exercise. I think I'll get changed into the clothes I'm going to wear at the lake now and have a short nap.. possibly downstairs so I'll get disturbed enough when people wake up. Meep.

Ooohhh.. I got the grandmother to phone school. They're going to send me a sixth form application form and stuff, so I might actually have something to do in september! YAYYY!! =]

Anyways, I'm off to get ready for the lake and stuff.

Hoobletoodledoooooo!

the bus

It feels like I'm on a bus, both literally and metaphorically (although the literal bit is only because I'm cold and listening to my ipod).

The bus is going nowhere in particular and I'm not sure where I want to get off. I know I want to get off though. The bus keeps going over random bump things in the road and it's windy so the bus keeps rocking slightly from side to side. It's a double decker. I'm sitting at the front at the top. I can see what is in front of me. I don't like what I see. I want it to stop going forward and reverse instead. I want it to reverse to last year, maybe the year before.. or maybe even reverse back to just over 17 years ago. I'm alone on the bus, although there are many other passengers.
The other passengers keep looking at me. It's almost like they're consciously tempting me to kill them all and jump out into the road. Everything on the bus is terrifying me. The sound of the engine, people moving, the smell of the sandwich the woman behind me is eating. But still, I need to act like a normal person. So I sit here, listening to Morrissey, Radiohead, Anthrax. I look around, I do a spot of people-watching - why can't I be like them? They don't seem confused, scared and anxious. They're normal. Unlike me.
Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, The Dresden Dolls. My Ipod is still playing. Giving me the much needed barrier between myself and the rest of the bus. The bus doesn't feel real, the passengers don't feel real and I don't feel real. What is reality? I ask myself... No reply. There never is. I never know what to say. I never know what to do. I just *am*. I don't need to do or say anything on this bus anyway, apart from press the big red button when it's time to get off.
My hair is greasy, I haven't brushed my teeth and I look like a hobo. I don't care though. I don't know these people and they don't know me. Inspiral Carpets, Placebo. I'm barely noticing the music that's playing, but it's the only thing I have to focus on. The only thing to keep me grounded. Can't exactly be 'grounded' at the top of a double-decker though, can I?
The bus doesn't feel clean. I try not to touch the wall, or the seats. I try to breathe as little as possible so I don't breathe in the germs. It's so dirty. Unhygienic. Vile. Rather sickening. I can feel the germs all over me. I can even see them if I concentrate hard enough. I don't like it at all.
Slipknot, Muse, The Beatles. The playlist seems never ending, like the bus journey. Most of the songs on the playlist are rather depressing, like the bus journey. The playlist and the journey seem to mirror eachother a worrying amount.
The bus is getting more and more crowded and I'm starting to suffocate. I'm getting more and more anxious. I want to hide from everything and everyone. I already look quite inconspicuous sitting here with my hood up and listening to music. I'm sure if I disappeared nobody would notice. I keep thinking. Too much... or maybe too little. The worst thing about buses, is that you have too much time to think.

My mind completely empties, I can't think properly, but suddenly I decide I need to get off.

beachy, campingy, party thingy

The weekend was rather good!

(I did a more pictureyfied blog about it here...)

Got suitably intoxicated and didn't have a hangover! =] ... was rather surprised at the lack of hangover though!

We went to the beach and on the way there I was attacked by a tree! ... and people were jumping off high dune things... and I filled a big WKD bottle with sand and James fell down a hill!

I remember a small group of us in my tent, trying to keep the vodka as secret as possible! It was rather amusing!... and probably kind of obvious as we were sitting in a circle passing round a thing of cranberry juice!

And I remember going to near a tree to secretly drink the rest of the vodka when the cranberry juiceified stuff had ran out..

Ooohh.. and there was the usual everyone going with everyone thing..

And I remember my lip bar coming out loads..

And then I don't remember much until about 4am when me and Ben were laughing at Dyl sneezing and the fact that he picked a really weird time to put down his tent!

Then when most people had left, Me, Dyl and Michelle hung out on the beach all morning and had quite a laugh talking about what any normal person would find utterly disturbing!

And I still have half a beach and half a forest in my hair...

That will be all!

=]

mooo

Right.. so I bleached my hair today and I'm now very very blond... but it really really irritated my scalp ... I always thought patch test things were a waste of time, but today I found out that I was really, really wrong! XD... Not only did I not do a patch test, but I neglected to see the importance of the gloves that come in the box... So I burnt my fingers (which still really fucking hurt) AND my scalp!... Yes, I'm stupid.... aaannnddd that's not the worst of it! .. I overly bleached the bits of my hair that were already rather blonde and it kind of...disintegrated.. So I now have shorter hair! lol... I don't mind though, in fact, I'm pretty fucking amused by the whole thing!

Anyway, on Friday there's a party thing at the beach/forest again =] .. I can't wait! .. I haven't seen people for ages!

I'm gonna go to my mums house tomorrow/when I wake up, to get some of my stuff .. I can't wait to see the cats! =]

I can't be bothered writing any more lol.

new hamster and stuff..

Yesterday I impulsively bought a hamster. He is so cute. He's called Jarvis Wolfgang Stardust (or just jarvis...) Being in my bedroom is kind of like being in some sort of rodent sanctuary..

Yesterday was once again rather random. Walked round Bangor with toy swords and Herbie the monkey (who i spent 6 quid on trousers for =/)... I think I need to stop impulsively spending my money =/ I had about £80 at the start of the week.. I seem to have spent it all in the last 2 days!

I've now set myself a challenge not to spend any money unnecessarily for a whole month. It's going to be hard but it needs to be done!

*will possibly elaborate on this shizz later*

Yet another pointless entry...

Odd... I just went out for a fag and came back indoors to find the grandfather awake. It was half 5 in the morning ffs! I'm usually the only person awake at this time.

Anyways... Yesterday was fun but random... Hung out with the Dyl and played battleships on the steps on the clock thing in the middle of Bangor! .. and bought loads of random crap. I also realized I want some piranhas! They rule, but I cant have them in my room because the degus might fall into the water or something... The grandmother wont let me have them anywhere else in the house either and my mum is a bitch when it comes to pets and stuff :(

Ooohhh.. I officially have boys underwear! ... Doctor Who underwear (age 13-14 to be precise). So yeah... I have David Tennant in inappropriate places! XD

Right now I'm listening to Michael Jackson, waiting for The Hoobs to come on and munching raisins.

I had a driving lesson yesterday and I did harder stuff than before. It was awesome! I went along the A55... 70mph =] .. and I realised that driving is a vaguely great stress-reliever! Driving is fun. I cant wait until I pass my test and shizz.

I've had Bohemian Rhapsody stuck in my head for almost 24 hours now! I can't get it out of my head. I like the song, but my head could have picked a better and less depressing Queen song!

Anyways... I must dash and feed Morrissey and Miyavi.

shizzle..init

Hehe, the Degus have a new wheel. They absohoobilutely love it! It was rather funny earlier. Miyavi decided to climb inside my hoodie to distract me whilst Morrissey went to explore under my bed. It was so cute because it was like team work and degus are adorable anyway. *ponders* Wow.. I love my degus more than ever today (if that's possible!).

My sleep pattern is still absolutely fucked. I woke up approximately an hour ago, after 4.5 hours sleep (which is rather good for me).

At about 8am I went to the lake... It was fucking freezing! I swam fully clothed (jeans with a shirt and a tie for extra sophistication). It was rather fun... Although, here's a tip - Never try and do up a belt whilst treading water!.. It's rather difficult! (although in an emergency it does work!) Gosh.. I love swimming. The worst part of swimming is always getting in though! I spent more time getting into the lake than swimming in it! It was icy cold! It also motivated me to wash my hair for the first time in ages, as my twizzletuft seemed to contain half the contents of the lake.

My Hoobyforum is back =]. It was dead for a few days, then it wasn't letting new users register. All is hooby groovy now though!

I can't stop listening to The Dresden Dolls at the moment. In the last few months I have become gradually more obsessed. I've been into them for a few years, but I never anticipated becoming obsessed to this extent. Their work is pure genius...and I'm slightly in love with Amanda Palmer! (possibly to the same extent as Helena Bonham Carter!) Last week (or whenever No, Virginia came out) I was really shocked to discover that HMV didn't sell it! I had to buy it from COB records. HMV should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves!

Right now I look a state! I'm wearing really old, grey trousers, my spy mission top (age 9-10 from the kids section of sainsburys!), my slipknot hoodie (which I've had since I was 10 and is still too big for me!) and my twizzletuft is all... fluffy and whatnot.

Might edit this on the other laptop later on and add photos and shizzle.

*has now added a photo* ... and wow I have so many drafts that I haven't actually posted! lol

Hooble-toodle-doo!

...

=[ My middle finger and my pointy finger hurt. I just jammed them in the door. Twas rather painful.

I had this idea. I'd fix things by going out on a meaningless, pointless mission to do something or have some sort of revelation. So I got out my night vision goggles (because, well, what mission is complete without them?!), put on a plain black top and a black bandanna (so I blend in more with the darkness) and I was ready to leave. I then had a sudden realization that it was pointless to go on a mission with no actual purpose, so I sat down, utterly bewildered at my own stupidity.
I am now sitting on the sofa pondering. It's sunday night/monday morning so nowhere will be open. Shame really. I seem to have ran out of cigarettes.

Today has been bizarre. I think I managed to vaguely quit the game and replace it with the game of life. Funny how those two games are so similar. Although it could be argued that the game in question shouldn't really be counted as a game, just an oddity I somehow managed to sub-consciously create. Shit. I just lost the game because I'm writing about two games... now three! ... Confused? I don't blame you!

(about 5 hours later)

I'm watching my Die Hard dvd. Although I'm a girl, I want to be John McClane. I do not find him attractive. He is just a pure fucking legend. Yippee ki-yay motherfucker!

The one thing that really bugs me about Die Hard is Alan Rickmans accent in it. Alan Rickman usually talks really awesomely (especially in Harry Potter and Sweeney Todd) but in this it's ridiculous. He's still a legend though. Although in Die Hard nobody beats McClane!

Meep.

A rather pointless entry...

Once again, I find myself sitting on the ground outside at 3am. It's nice out here, but it gets really cold really quickly. The sky is wonderful. So many stars and it's a beautiful shade of dark bluey black. I love the way that everything is so dark and there are no other colours but grey, blue and black at this time in the morning. It's weird, I'm wearing a stripey top at the moment, but I can't see the stripes.

I can hear my Sweeney Todd dvd from out here. It's evidently a lot louder than I thought it was... I hope it's annoying the neighbors!

I'm back inside now. It was fucking freezing out there! The dvd player is making funny noises. I don't like it. It's rather scary. Technology seems to hate me recently. Earlier it was my laptop, then my other laptop and now the dvd player!

Wow.. I've been writing this for almost an hour. (I've been doing 5 million other things too but meep!) I guess I have nothing even vaguely interesting to write about tonight.

I have eaten a ridiculous amount so far today... Possibly about 2 days worth of food. Not sure why though. Tis rather bizarre.

I'm watching Gothika for the first time in a few years. I'm actually getting quite into it, I didn't really like it a couple of years ago. I guess I must have grown up a lot or something... It's funny how you can find a film incredibly boring and a few years later find yourself liking it.

Anyways, I'm off to watch the film. Laters.

Lack of Hoobage...

I don't understand what is up with the world. I mean, there's like a serious lack off Hoobage on the internet. There needs to be more! Loads of people watch 'The Hoobs' religiously every single morning at 6:10am, yet there is a serious lack of Hoobness online. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. There's loads about 'In The Night Garden' which is quite frankly, a load of (rather scary) bollocks. So why not 'The Hoobs'?! Not only does The Hoobs have a loyal tiddlypeep fan base, but there are so many grown up peeps on the peep planet who like to watch it too.

The Hoobs is so much more than a TV show. It is a way of life! ... Kind of. After becoming addicted (which I can assure you, happens rather quickly) you end up using various hoobisms. You end up calling your hair 'twizzletuft', calling anything you drink 'hoobjuice' and wishing you had a hooby-sandwich-hammer. Face it - sandwiches are so much tastier flat! 'Hoobacious' sounds so much better than saying 'cool'. 'Hoobledoop' and 'Hooble-toodle-doo' sound so much better than 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'.

The Hoobs is extremely educational. I've learned many a thing from watching The Hoobs... and I never learn anything! It's so funny. They do funny things and say funny things. It's even amusing when it lacks innuendos! Although an episode without innuendos is rather rare as it is probably the most innuendo-filled thing on TV! (probably why it appeals to so many adults)

The hoobs sometimes have really deep conversations too! Like about how without question's there are no answers, without answers there are no questions and without questions there are no hoobs!

I think it's safe to say that The Hoobs is undoubtedly the best thing ever to make its way onto peep TV screens. There is absolutely no excuse to not watch the hoobs. If you're lazy and can't get up that early, watch it on channel 4 + 1 or get a dvd! My dvd was fairly cheap on amazon. So please, for the sake of your soul, I urge you to watch the hoobs!

The songs are hoobacious, the colours are hoobelly groobelly and the humour is hoobledoobledooper.

Long live Iver, Groove, Tula, Roma, Hubba Hubba, Auntie Hattie, Tootle, Timp, Twang and of course Jim Henson!

Hooble-toodle-doo!

Are we falling into a cyber abyss?

Golly. I was not anticipating this when I persuaded the grandparents to 'get online'. For the last hour or so, I have been sitting around, helping the grandmother on some facebook game and (im)patiently waiting for the grandfather to finish using my laptop to write his blog. He is such a slow typer (I'm actually having to use the other computer right now) but he needs to learn!

I realise that this is in no way an original, unique or inspiring thing to write a blog about, but I don't really care and I've been pondering about it quite a lot tonight.

I know that once upon a time I didn't have a computer, but these days I can't imagine life without one. I usually spend a minimum of 12 hours a day online and it's rather bizarre to think that when I was a wee nipper I didn't even own a computer. Odd. I guess this is just proof that the internet is taking over lives and our (slowly decaying) planet.

These days, people talk, shop, bank, listen to music, watch tv and do pretty much everything it is possible to do in real life online. The majority of people can connect to the internet anywhere at any time through various mobile devices. Whereas a decade ago, only 'the lucky people' had the internet. With the internet there is virtually no reason why anyone would have to leave the comfort of their own home at all. Personally, I very rarely leave the house (yes, I realise I need to get a life!) and I know I wouldn't be able to cope with a day with no internet. Gosh.. The times, they are a-changin'!

The internet ruins social lives, yet expands friendship networks. Online friends can be just as 'real' as 'real' friends. Years ago, one had to actually meet someone to consider them a friend, these days the majority of people seem to have at least some online friends. Personally, I think I sometimes prefer my online friends... Well, I talk to them more anyway! Where is the line between the real world and the cyber world? Has it been blurred over the years? Has modern technology killed reality?

Because there was a time when the internet didn't exist, there is evidence that the human race can survive without it, but what I want to know is why we became so dependant on it... and what would happen if the internet suddenly stopped working all around the world. What would people do then? Would they sit in despair, not knowing what to do? or would they just get on with life how it used to be in the good ol' days? Would the world come to an end if the internet came to the end? It's a scary thought and I hope I am not alive when/if it does happen.

As I seem to be running out of things to say, I shall stop writing now and write something else when I have something better to say. Well done for reading this, and all apologies if I bored you to death!

Gosh... My first blog! Well, on this anyway. I'm not entirely sure what brought me to this site, I guess I was just bored with myspace and livejournal.

I guess I need to explain my title a bit... There is nothing deep and meaningful about it whatsoever. I am merely too obsessed with Sweeney Todd at the moment. I couldn't think of a title, so I stole a line from it! I know it's plagiarism, but frankly mr shankly, I don't give a damn!

I definitely need to be less lackadaisical. I didn't have my driving lesson this morning because I couldn't be bothered. I am not going to let myself do that anymore. Not doing something, due to momentary apathy is the start of giving up. It happened with school, college, karate, guitar lessons and pretty much everything I've ever done. I am not going to let myself screw stuff up anymore. I WILL be bothered with stuff and I WONT give up. Meep.

I'm really quite into plasticine at the moment. It's great fun to make little models out of. I'm not exactly a plasticine-genius, but I can still have fun making silly little models like these. Pointless, but fun and strangely satisfying.