Oh my, I'm horrible!

I'm so ashamed of something that happened today. I still feel terrible about it. I'm a horrible, horrible human being and should be shot!

I was sitting on a bench outside nomming a pasty and talking to my grandmother. A man walked past with a dog. Both the man and the dog were wearing bright yellow jackets. The dog was pretty cute. The back of the mans jacket said 'Guide dog' on it. He seemed to glare in my direction, so automatically I reacted. The conversation between me and my grandmother went something like this:

Me: If that guy looks at me like that again, I'll fucking...
Grandmother: Charli! He's blind! Don't be so horrible!
Me: ... Oh... Fuck...

I honestly didn't realise he was blind until it was pointed out to me. I wanted to disappear and the ground to eat me. I really, really hope he didn't hear any of what I said. It should have been obvious to me considering he had what was obviously a guide dog... but because the man was wearing a jacket that said 'Guide dog' on it, I had automatically assumed that he worked for some guide dog company or something and was training the dog. Apparently on the front of his jacket it said he was blind. I didn't see that though because it was in smaller writing and I didn't have my glasses on.

I don't think I've ever been so ashamed of myself in my life. I'm fucking mortified. How could I have been so stupid?! I don't think he heard me though because if he had, I'm guessing he would have reacted in some way... but even if he didn't hear me, I'm still ashamed... not just of my stupidity, but of the way I reacted to a man who was evidently blind. I feel so guilty. From now on I'm going to a) try to react less to random strangers and b) be a lot more observant.

I think there's something vaguely humorous about my story, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. I'm certainly more ashamed than amused though. =/

stuffff

Hmm... I wonder what my insides look like... Probably rather blue, if I take into consideration all the blue crap I've been eating recently. I like blue things. There's so many different moods the colour blue can create. It's awesome. My ukulele is blue! =]

I can now play 'yes my name is iggle piggle...' on the ukulele. I should be ashamed of this, but quite frankly, I'm strangely proud. I've actually learned something new. I can also play a few other songs (come as you are, daydream believer, ace of spades...) but I just love the fact that I can play the In The Night Garden thing. I know I absolutely loathe that show, but knowing how to play that is awesome because it'll be funny to see how the half-brother reacts. Yes, I admit it - I actually like a member of my family! *shock, horror*

The oddest thing just happened. I went ouside for a fag, and some random person asked me for a lighter... at 3:45am! I'm usually the only person around at this time!

In the last couple of days, I've found a few films I actually really like. I haven't seen a film I actually find interesting for quite some time. Last night I watched 'Stay' which was really, really good. Today I watched 'Cube' and 'Cube 2: hypercube' which were also hoobacious!

Anyways. I'm off to paint. Hoobletoodledoo!