Guitarishness.

This year I made a few new years resolutions. There are only two I'm determined to stick to though- losing weight and playing my guitar every day.

For the last couple of years I haven't really played the guitar much. I think I've become kind of crap at it. I need to get better. I used to find playing the guitar really relaxing and it was one of the few things I really enjoyed. I have three guitars and they're all just kind of sitting around... it seems kind of pointless having them if I don't play them. At the moment they're just kind of decorations. That will change. I'm going to play guitar every day. I really need to get my plectrums, my amp, my pedals and Sid (my oldest guitar) from my grandparentals house. I need to improve... Especially because I want to start teaching Ike to play guitar from whenever he's old enough to actually hold one. I'm considering getting in touch with my old guitar teacher and seeing if I can get lessons off him again. In my opinion he's better at guitar than pretty much anyone in any band I know of. I wouldn't want anyone else teaching me guitarishness. Anyhow, that's basically all. I'm going to stick to this resolution no matter what. =]

Llanffest

Went to Llanfest lastnight. I'm not sure if it's called Llanfest or Llanffest, but hey ho- who cares?!

There was a field on the way there with zillions of sheep in it. I've never seen that many sheep crammed into one field before... and considering I live in Wales, that's pretty pluckin' impressive!

Me and my friends got in for free because we used J's blue eyeliner to make it look like we had the stamps you needed to get in to the musicy place. It wouldn't have mattered if we hadn't succeeded in getting in... the music was pretty shit (in my opinion).

We spent ages erecting (lmao!) my sexy new tent. We didn't bother reading the instructions and ended up switching round two of the poley thingys with the top bit of shizzle still over the general tent... If that makes any sense... If it doesn't make sense- we spent way too long putting up a tent of average difficulty and ended up looking like absolute idiots! =D I love my new tent, even if it is quite a boring looking one.

I opened a bottle of strawberry beer with a fence. M accidentally smashed a whole bottle of wine.

There was literally no vegetarianified food there apart from candyfloss, so I nommed candyfloss... I love candyfloss! Hoobloads of sugarsugarsugarrrr!

It was a pretty good night... especially for a sober night!

Despite having no sleep whatsoever and half-noticing someone open the zip on the tent in the night (only the outsidey zip though), somehow something belonging to every person in the tent was stolen. My WKD went missing (we found the bottle empty later on >.<)... Seriously?! Who the fuck steals a pregnant person's alcohol?! Inconsiderate fannyholes! J's shoes were stolen... They turned up later on in someone elses tent... Apparently lots of people there had their shoes stolen and when we looked in the field next to the camping place, there was shoes scattered everywhere! And worst of all C's bag got stolen... I'm not sure whether she got it back or not... but it had her camera, glasses and everything else in it! I hope she retrieved it in the end. I'm not sure how any of this happened as I was awake all night and I think C and J were awake most of the night too. I found all of this shizz infuriatingly hilarious... or hilariously infuriating... but seriously, whoever did this stuff is a fucking twat... Oh, and M's glasses snapped in half... So that makes specsavers twatty too!
But then I saw a moo cow with a sheepy friend and all was good in the world...Although then I couldn't get my sleeping bag back in it's bag, which made me a little sad... So I dressed like a turd (I wore like all my clothes!) and wrote on my face.

All in all, it was hoobacious! Apart from the pregnancy related crap, which I will write about in my pregnantness blog rather than here because it seems like the right place to write about it... Oh, and apart from the fact I may have caught some form of disease from C!

Anyhow... gonna go moan about stuff in my pregnancy blog and then try to have a nap. hoobletoodledoo.

Boringnessss

I'm writing this because I need to update this blog because it's been over a week, so excuse the probable boringness of it all.

I can't be bothered with anything. I would quite like to have a nap, but there's hoobloads of plinky plonky music in my head that's making nappage impossible. Meep. There's so much I need to do anyway. I have to sort out some financial things (fill in 2 forms, send them off, work out how much money i've spent in the last 2 days, go to a cash machine, give my grandmother the money I owe her and work out how much money I'm allowed to spend tonight) and fix my hair (which involves bleaching it, having a hissy fit over the fact it didn't turn out light enough, possibly trimming it a bit due to sizzleifiedness, dying it pink and making it look less stupid and... floppy). I have to do all that before 7pm.

I shouldn't have gone out lastnight. I had 2 vodka and cokes, which is like my weekly alcohol ration. I'm going out tonight too, so should have really just have had coke yesterday. I'm going to end up just drinking coke tonight, but I need to remember my ID anyway! XD

Found a dead hedgehog outside the graveyard on my way home lastnight. It saddened me. I don't think I've ever seen a hedgehog that was actually alive! I'd love to see one one day.
Oh, and whilst walking past Varsity, there was a magical yet annoying moment when I was walking past all the people smoking outside. It was like... fresh air... it was amazing... but it just made me realise how much I wanted a fag of my own. I miss smoking.

Anyhow... Even though I have no mynadd whatsoever, I'm gonna go feed Morrissey his medicine and do all the shit I have to do! Hoobletoodledoo.

the bus

It feels like I'm on a bus, both literally and metaphorically (although the literal bit is only because I'm cold and listening to my ipod).

The bus is going nowhere in particular and I'm not sure where I want to get off. I know I want to get off though. The bus keeps going over random bump things in the road and it's windy so the bus keeps rocking slightly from side to side. It's a double decker. I'm sitting at the front at the top. I can see what is in front of me. I don't like what I see. I want it to stop going forward and reverse instead. I want it to reverse to last year, maybe the year before.. or maybe even reverse back to just over 17 years ago. I'm alone on the bus, although there are many other passengers.
The other passengers keep looking at me. It's almost like they're consciously tempting me to kill them all and jump out into the road. Everything on the bus is terrifying me. The sound of the engine, people moving, the smell of the sandwich the woman behind me is eating. But still, I need to act like a normal person. So I sit here, listening to Morrissey, Radiohead, Anthrax. I look around, I do a spot of people-watching - why can't I be like them? They don't seem confused, scared and anxious. They're normal. Unlike me.
Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, The Dresden Dolls. My Ipod is still playing. Giving me the much needed barrier between myself and the rest of the bus. The bus doesn't feel real, the passengers don't feel real and I don't feel real. What is reality? I ask myself... No reply. There never is. I never know what to say. I never know what to do. I just *am*. I don't need to do or say anything on this bus anyway, apart from press the big red button when it's time to get off.
My hair is greasy, I haven't brushed my teeth and I look like a hobo. I don't care though. I don't know these people and they don't know me. Inspiral Carpets, Placebo. I'm barely noticing the music that's playing, but it's the only thing I have to focus on. The only thing to keep me grounded. Can't exactly be 'grounded' at the top of a double-decker though, can I?
The bus doesn't feel clean. I try not to touch the wall, or the seats. I try to breathe as little as possible so I don't breathe in the germs. It's so dirty. Unhygienic. Vile. Rather sickening. I can feel the germs all over me. I can even see them if I concentrate hard enough. I don't like it at all.
Slipknot, Muse, The Beatles. The playlist seems never ending, like the bus journey. Most of the songs on the playlist are rather depressing, like the bus journey. The playlist and the journey seem to mirror eachother a worrying amount.
The bus is getting more and more crowded and I'm starting to suffocate. I'm getting more and more anxious. I want to hide from everything and everyone. I already look quite inconspicuous sitting here with my hood up and listening to music. I'm sure if I disappeared nobody would notice. I keep thinking. Too much... or maybe too little. The worst thing about buses, is that you have too much time to think.

My mind completely empties, I can't think properly, but suddenly I decide I need to get off.