Bank: The GOOSEFANNY of the clothes shopping world.

Spent ages writing a blog. Deleted it because I'm so fucking pissed off and have to blog about something else.


I went to Bank (the clothes shop, not the HSBC or anything) today. I bought a top. Didn't try it on because I have a thing about changing rooms and never ever ever try stuff on in shops. The size I got was large. I expected it to be baggy on me because yeah, I may be a lot fatter than I used to be, but I'm not exactly massive. I tried it on about half an hour ago. I only just managed to get my arms through the arm thingys and it wouldn't fasten at all. IT WAS NOT FUCKING LARGE! It was tiny. It would probably fit my 11 year old cousin. Usually a medium would fit me quite nicely, but no... large was extremely small on me. Yeah, I'm pissed off at myself for getting so fat, but I'm even more pissed off at Bank. Having sizes like that is the kind of thing that fuels eating disorders and shit. I'm apparently a healthy weight for my height. I know I need to lose weight to be the size I want to be, but the point is that I'm a healthy weight and a large top was too small for me. It's fucking ridiculous. So yeah, I'm a healthy weight yet I'm fat according to this fucking shop. I'm going to boycott Bank (even though they sell awesome shoes). Even if I manage to lose a lot of weight, I'm still going to avoid shopping there. Stupid fucking cunt of a shop! >.<

Anyhow... in other news, I spent over £100 today so I wont be able to afford much food to nom for a while so hopefully that will help me lose weight and become what society (or just twatty shops like Bank) want me to be. At least I have a table and two chairs (hopefully that's enough to accomodate my fat arse) for the garden!

Whoooooooooosssssssssshhhhhhhhh. I'm going to drink some alcomavag.

Degus, bog-monsters and vampires,

I'm so proud of Morrissey (the degu)! On Wednesday morning I have to take him to the vets. He has to have put on weight by then. Assuming my scales measure grams the same as the ones in the vets, I'm pretty sure he's put on about 15 grams since Thursday or Friday or whenever he went there! He weighed 155g in the vets, yesterday he weighed 168g and today he weighs 171 grams... I think! He's hard to measure, as the number on the scales changes if he moves even just a little bit! He's started taking his new (and apparently vile tasting) medicine very well. Mixing it up in his food and spoon feeding him it was definitely a good idea! =]

Both goos seem quite cheerful tonight. Earlier on, Morrissey was sitting on my hand being fed and making his happy noise, whilst Miyavi was playfully rolling a thingy of hay around the cage. It made me to happy to see them both so happy and to see Morrissey eating. Every time I see him eat anything at the moment is great because I know he's eating and probably isn't going to lose any more weight. =]

Tried some of the mushy degu shizz I've been feeding Morrissey this morning. I thought the smell was quite appealing and had to try some for myself. It tasted just like porridge, but a little bit weird. I wasn't too impressed with the weird tasting bit of it and I wasn't sure what some of the ingredients were, so I had two bowls of porridge to satisfy my degu food craving... They really are freakishly similar!

Ooohh... I went to my auntie's house this afternoon. Apparently I scarred my cousin-type-thing for life... Oops... Apparently she flushes the toilet really quickly and runs out as fast as she can whenever she uses the toilet because of a stupid little story about 'bog monsters' I told her in the graveyard when I was about 13 and she was about 6. I feel kind of guilty about it, but it's fucking hilarious!

Tomorrow will be super-busy... I have to have my anti-d injection. I have to have my blood stolen and tested for things tomorrow too as I keep freaking out about getting the blood stolen after the incident a couple of weeks ago. Because there's so much shizz that needs doing, I'm worried I'll be in the hospital for a very long time. I have to go to the job centre to 'sign on' in the early afternoon. Thankfully, it'll be the last time I have to do that (I think). The people at the job centre are twats apart from like one person there! I need to find time in the hospital to ask what they actually do with the blood after testing it for things. I'm certain they are vampires, especially after the midwife joked about being one... but I want to know for sure what they really do with all the blood!

Hoobletoodledoo!

Very sick degu. =[

It's a very, very sad day. =[

As you probably know, Morrissey (one of my degus) has been very, very ill with pneumonia (which was diagnosed on July 17th). Although he had been taking his medicine (cefalexin) and he seemed to be getting better, his head was still really tilty and he was walking round in circles. I was getting increasingly worried about him, so I took him to the vets once again.

I knew something was wrong, but not as wrong as it actually is. The infection has apparently spread to his inner ear or something, which is why he's walking around in circles and stuff. The vet said it didn't look good at all and after she weighed him, said that it was probably best to put him to sleep. He had lost over a quarter of his body weight over two weeks. I was sure he'd started eating and stuff again, but he obviously hadn't been eating enough. He wasn't as heavy as he should have been two weeks ago either. The vet said she was willing to try him with a new medicine (baytril) for five days as long as I was prepared to put him to sleep if there is not an improvement. He has to have gained weight and be looking better by I go see her again, otherwise he will have to be put to sleep. She said there's a very small chance the new medicine will work, so there's a big chance he will die. I have to be prepared for the worst. =[

In the car on the way home, I was pondering how to make him eat. I knew he liked to take his medicine from the syringe, so I had the idea of getting some degu food, crushing it up and mixing it with a bit of water so it was syringeable. I just tried feeding him that way and it made him so happy. He must have been so hungry. He was eating (or drinking?) like he hadn't been fed for years. Poor thing. =[ I even fed him some off a spoon and he liked that too. I think he had been trying to eat but either couldn't balance enough for it to work, or he just didn't have enough energy to chew things. He ate quite a lot of it, so I'm going to try feeding him like that every few hours 0r so. Hopefully we will see a weight increase by Wednesday!

I have now had to spend a lot of my money on Morrissey, but I dont care. I will do anything to keep him alive. The next 5 days are crucial. I'm going to look after him hoobloads.

I put up the most recent picture with Morrissey in it. It was taken last night. Please ignore the fact that I look terrible, I'm wearing no make-up or anything and look rather like a 12 year old. And gosh, since being pregnant, my face has become dead fat! But yeah...Morrissey looks so small and sad in it, hopefully he'll look happier soon though! I'm trying to be optimistic about this. =]

Smoke!

Y'know that thing that happens when you look through smoke? The one where everything goes all wobbly and distorted? Well, I've just realised that that's like life... Everything's ok, but it seems a lot worse than it is. Like, right now I'm about to go back to school after almost a year of doing fuck all after quitting college. I miss college, I wish I hadn't quit, but would I really want to still be in my mothers house? I'm back with the grandparents. I like it here. I'm majorly freaked out about going to school (mainly because I'll be a year behind all my friends and I'm half convinced I'll quit it after a few weeks). But the thing is, even though school is shit, I'm living where I want to live (well, with the people I want to live with at least because Wales sucks!). I've come up with lots of goals. I know what I want to do with my life (well... kind of, until I'm 22...). Everything is hoobacious, but there's loads of smoke making it seem less hoobacious than it actually is. Meep lol! I'm rambling!

In the next 2 weeks, I plan to sort out my bedroom, somehow lose weight, revisit GCSE stuff because it's been over a year and I don't remember any of it (it might come in handy...) and do a few pieces of art stuff just in case school stuff piles up and I don't have enough time to do some art stuff or anything. See. I'm doing stuff! I can't believe I'm going to spend my last couple of weeks of freedom doing this! XD

And another thing, I need to look cool (well, not cool... but like me, not a clone of everyone else) in school... but I can't find the type of clothes I want anywhere! I think I'm going to look through all the charity shops or something.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop writing about this crap and actually get on with it! Hoobletoodledoo!

Currently listening to: Abigail's Mercy - Meaningless
Currently drinking: Evian water... yum!
Currently located: On the floor by the sofa