The Annoying Mystery Rash.

I'm pissed off. I'm completely covered in a horrible, itchy rash. It's definitely not chickenpox. I've never had chickenpox, but it's the wrong kind of rash for that. Apart from the rash, I feel absolutely fine. I've had to cancel the party I was gonna have tonight because I don't want to risk people catching it because I don't know what it is. No family people have a rash though, so that makes me think it might not be contagious. =/ I originally thought I was allergic to something in the stuff I had a bath in on Christmas day because I'd never used it before and it seemed to be worse in areas where I'd smeared it on myself, but it seems to be worse today than it was yesterday, so I'm thinking maybe it's not that. It's really weird. The spots are all different sizes and some of them are just big patches of redness rather than actual spots... and some of them are turning into weird ring-type-things. =/

I'm so fucking pissed off about it. >.<

Anyhow, christmas sucked. It wasn't too bad... it was just boring. The fact I went out and got completely wasted to the point of puking a lot when I got home on Christmas eve didn't really help. I spent most of Christmas with a hangover. It didn't feel Christmassy at all. It was just like a normal Sunday (even though it was Friday) but with presents. It was nice enough... just fucking boring! I got some great presents though, and people seemed to like what I got them. =]

I can't wait for Casualty tonight. It'll be the highlight of my day now that the party is postponed. It sucks about the party. I have absinthe and everything. It was going to be good. I guess it'll still be good, but it wont be today. It'll suck if nobody can make it whenever I re-plan it for! Bleep. At least postponing it gives me time to tidy up my flat!

Hoobletoodledoo!

xmas eve and liberation

I have nothing else I need to do today. I'm just waiting for the baby to wake up for feedage and have been for the last hour. I feel liberated. I can do whatever the hell I want to do. It's amazing. I should have had a bath or something. Not gonna risk it now though. He's bound to wake up soon.

It's now Christmas eve. I'm still like a 5 year old. I can't wait for Christmas. It's going to be weird not being the youngest person in the house on Christmas day though. I don't know why I like Christmas so much. It always ends in immense family arguments. It's great until the arguing starts though, and it's great after it ends. I'm going to get drunk this year because I'm a grown up so nobody can tell me how much alcohol I'm allowed to drink! XD I've been wrapping every present I've bought Isaac. I realised (after wrapping everything) that it's a complete waste of time because I'm going to be the one opening them anyway! Isaac isn't even old enough to really appreciate wrapping paper. I'm silly! :P I have lots to do today. I need to go shopping on behalf of my grandmother to get my grandfather's present, I need to buy something for my uncle, I need to go to pets at home and buy the animals presents and I need to track Santa on google earth. Busybusybusy.

I'm getting fed up of waiting for Ike to wake up. I think I'll try to go to sleep. As soon as I'm almost asleep, he's bound to wake up! XD

Ew. Ew. EWWWWWW!!!

Isaac is out of hospital and he seems to be getting better. All is good.=]

A couple of hours ago, the most horrid and disturbing thing happened to me.
Picture this: You're walking downstairs. All you want to do is innocently get a can of coke from the fridge. You open the living room door. You walk in. You see a naked old man standing by the door to the bathroom. You scream. You run out of the room. You realise you've just seen your grandfather naked. You almost puke. You go hide somewhere upstairs.

Yes. That actually happened to me. How exceedingly gross. I don't know why he was standing there like that. I don't want to know. I just hope I never have to witness it again.Will I ever be able to look at him again? I think not! 

I am deeply disturbed. My grandmother found it amusing... I can see why it's funny now, but at the time I was like 'ewwwww. ewwwwwwwwwww. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.' My grandfather didn't even seem embarrassed. I don't know why. I would have been mortified. I am fucking mortified! =/

=[

I'm terrible at this whole being a mother thingy. Isaac is in the hospital and I'm not even there with him. He's not alone though... my grandmother is staying there with him. I really want to be there with him, but I could feel myself getting slightly panicky at the thought of staying overnight...Probably because I have bad memories of the ward he is on and the fact that I hate hospitals and can't make myself talk to people there. I still have a chest infection and am coughing quite a lot. I don't think people can catch stuff off me anymore though... but I didn't want to risk spreading germs into a hospital. I need to get some sleep too... Meep. I shouldn't even be trying to justify not staying with him. I should have stayed there, end of.

He seems fine now. Why couldn't they just let him go home? My grandparents house is about a 3 minute drive from the hospital.

I'm rather pissed off. I'm pissed off because I'm not with him, because he has to stay there and because they spelled his first AND last name wrong on things.

Meep. I miss him.

proudblog

I know I said I wasn't going to write about boring things anymore, but I'm having an omgi'msoeffingproudofstan moment, so decided I'd be all bloggy and stuff!

I just spoke on the phone to the health visitor (the new one) that I've never met before. I even spoke to the other health visitor yesterday, but I've met her before so even though it was a big deal for me then, this is fucking massive for me! I didn't freak out. I held a conversation. I only answered my phone because it's ringing was annoying me. But yeah, this was the first time ever that I've been brave enough to speak to someone that I don't know on the phone. Usually I refuse to speak to anyone that isn't my mother or a grandparent. Heh, yeah... WOOOSHHHH!! =D *does whatever proud people do* I seriously feel like a fucking lion!

Ooohh, I'm also proud because I also managed to look after Isaac last night when I felt like crap in every way possible! He was a surprisingly good boy though... I think he's probably sleeping more than usual because he caught my lurgy though. =/

 My grandmother is coming out of hospital today. I'm slightly pissed off at her because she was supposed to stay there for 5 days and be all quarantineified because apparently after her operation, she was like a zillion times more likely to get infections or something. She managed to talk them round to letting her out today though. Personally I think that's rather stupid of her, but she doesn't listen to anyone! Yeah, if I was in her position I would probably have done the same because hospitals suck, but mooo- it's still stupid! >.<

Hoobletoodledoo!

blooples

I just spent half an hour writing a blog post. I realised it was boring and deleted it. I'm making a promise to myself to never write about  boring, everyday things ever again. I will probably break that promise, but there's no harm in trying to be less mundane.

Deadrelativesblog.

I actually had a conversation with my grandfather earlier. Usually we don't speak to eachother unless we are arguing. We did argue a little bit, but only about what fifteen plus eighteen equals... It's thirty-three, right? Please say it is... I hate being wrong! I don't think I've ever spoken to him for more than about a minute (apart from when I was really little). It was actually quite interesting. I learnt a lot of random facts about dead family members and family people I've never met.

Apparently I had a great, great aunt Fanny. She died wayyy before I was born, but I found this fact hilarious. Ooohh, maybe she was reincarnated as my fish, Fanny. *ponders* I think I'll ask Fanny about it... I wonder whether or not she'll answer... I bet she will. I just wont be able to hear her because she lives in the water so her voice will be all muffled and fish-like.

My grandfather's uncle died because of a cup of tea... Well, not directly because of a cup of tea (it was more because of heavy, victorian furniture and his father being lazy), but if this cup of tea hadn't existed, he wouldn't have died when he did. Death by panad... What a way to die! I think my granfather's father (the tea drinker) was ever so slightly guilty of manslaughter.

I found out that many of my relatives kept bees. I don't know why that interested me, I just thought it was quite random and interesting.

His brother (who either used to keep bees or still keeps bees) has a glass eye. Apparently, he didn't even know he was blind in one eye until some army doctory dude told him when he was going to do national service or whatever... It amazes me how someone couldn't know they were like 50% blind! I haven't seen him since I was about six and I don't remember him at all... but for some reason I have a memory of a dude with a glass eye that I thought was another one of his brothers (who died a couple of years ago) who I have met quite a few times. He apparently had almost perfect vision... So I'm all confused because I think a memory that isn't even a memory because I don't remember it has got all muddled up with a proper memory. Heh, I think I'm sort of making sense! :P

I think I might have offended him a little when I compared his mother and father's relationship with if I was to go out with a three year old or a thirty-three year old. I was all like 'dude... that is sick and paedoey'. He seemed more amused than offended though... I think... I'm not very good at reading people. I hope he was more amused than offended. I was joking... Kind of.

Heh, yeahh... This blog post is probably very boring to people who aren't related to me, but I found all this stuff interesting and had to blog about it, so sorry if I have bored you to death! XD

...

I've been in my grandparentals house for a few days because my grandfather was away. I'm going back home tonight though. I can't wait! My place is a lot cleaner. Can't go back until after my grandfather has been to church though.

Talking of churches...I was actually sickened by everything written on www.godhatesgoths.com . I spent a while flicking through pretty much everything on the site before I stumbled across this. After finding out the whole thing isn't serious, I now find it pretty amusing. However, as I know there are many people around the world that actually have these beliefs, I am still quite fucking sickened. I'm so glad I stumbled across the disclaimer. If I hadn't, I think I would have spent the rest of my life attempting to track down a fictional character so I could completely rip him to shreds. But yes, my mind is now at rest after finding out that Rev RG Green doesn't actually exist.

I hate that my grandmother likes to watch I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. There have been 2 occasions in the last 3 days where I've turned round to see s****rs on the tv. I have panicked both times. I fucking hate it. If I was alone and had seen something like that, I would not have been able to cope with it at all... Which would be exceptionally bad when I have a baby to look after. There should be some kind of warning or something. Bleeeep! I can't believe I used to love that show years ago. I guess I jsut wasn't as immensely terrified of stuff back then.

I'm drinking Pepsi again... Even though I'm morally opposed to the stuff. It's cheap and tastes good. =/

Anyhows, bye!

Hamlet, alcohol and degus.

I've just realised that I spend way too much time feeding Hamlet (my cyber hamster who lives >V there). I feed him on average about 10 different times a day. I think this officially makes me a loser. I'm actually surprised at the fact he isn't obese. He's surprisingly skinny for a hamster that gets fed way too much.

I got exceedingly drunk last night. My friend had to open the door so I could get back into the house because I couldn't work out what to do with my key. Apparently my grandmother asked me to unplug something for her and when I bent down to unplug it, I stayed bent over for ages. She asked me what I was doing and apparently I told her I was looking at the plug. I don't remember this. I could barely walk and stuff. I haven't been that inebriated for a very, very long time. I also went online at some point. I don't remember doing that at all. I'm rather confused as to how I managed to climb up the ladder to my bed. I woke up and I was still drunk until the hangover kicked in at about 2pm. It was a rather good night (well, what I remember of it was). Heh, I've missed nights like that. Don't worry- my grandmother was looking after Isaac for me, so I wasn't looking after a baby whilst absolutely wasted!

Morrissey is now officially the most tame degu in the world. Usually he's only exceedingly tame with me and my grandmother because we are the only people who regularly hold him. A couple of friends came round for a bit tonight and he let one of them hold him and didn't even try to escape. So yes, Morrissey officially has better social skills than me!

Ooohh... In Tesco last night, I was buying vodka and this margharita shizz and I didn't even get IDd. Tesco are usually really strict with IDishness. It was quite funny because the margharita stuff was labelled £3.50, 2 for £9. I only bought it to see how much they'd charge me. I'm quite pleased they charged me £3.50 instead of like £4.50 or something.

I'm gonna go have a bath and read a bit now. Hoobletoodledoo!

ch, ch, ch, ch, changes...

It's weird how much life can change in a year. This time last year, I'd never even thought about having a baby. In fact, I was 99.9% certain I didn't want to ever have a baby. Shit happened, I got pregnant and POW- I have the most awesome squigglytiddlypeep in the world and wouldn't do anything to change that even if I had a time machine. A year ago I actually disliked babies. Now that I have Isaac, I'm obsessed! It's so fucking weird lol!

A year ago I was in sixth form and yeah, I'd thought many times about quitting... but I was determined to stick at it until I actually got a-levels, especially since I'd quit college the previous year and already failed at it once. I somehow ended up quitting that. It was kind of accidental (in a kind of 'blahh- I'll go to school tomorrow' kind of way), but I'm happy I did. I'd hate to have to leave Isaac all day every day to do school stuff! It would have been awful being the only pregnant looking person in school. I have the rest of my life to do educationy shizz. I plan to be in uni by I'm 25. Knowing me, it probably wont happen, but hey ho!

A year ago I lived with my grandparents (in fact, a month ago I did) but now I live in a pretty awesome 'flat' thing with Ikeydoodle and it couldn't be any awesomer. I love not having to share a bathroom with other people. Yeah, even though I don't have people telling me what to do all the time, I'm still not free to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it because my life revolves around Ike, but I don't mind.

A year ago I saw my friends pretty much every day. Now that most of them have toddled off to uni in far away places, I hardly ever see them anymore. I've become kind of like a loner with a baby, but it's cool... It means I actually look forward to seeing friends rather than just socialising because it's something that happens a lot.

A year ago I had quite a lot of piercings. Currently I only have my tongue piercing and nose piercing in (still have other holes in my face, but they have nothing in them). My beloved bridge piercing closed up because they made me take it out in the hospital when I was getting all sewn up after having Isaac and I ended up forgetting to put it back in. The day I realised I couldn't put it back in was a terrible one. I'd had that piercing since before I did my GCSEs and it had become a part of my face. I barely recognise myself now. I'm going to rectify the lack of piercings some time soon. I can't believe it's been over a year since I got any piercings or tattoos. Soon that will all change again.

A year ago I was vegan. Now I'm just your average vegetarian. I only changed that because I was pregnant and couldn't be bothered with a dietician dictating to me what I should eat. I'm not 100% sure why I'm still un-vegan. I still have all the same views on shizz like this. I plan to reveganise myself some time soon. Maybe January 1st? Seems like a good time to me... I might just make it a gradual thing though. I didn't do that the first time round. It seems like a good idea.

I was even a completely different person a year ago. I'm not sure what's changed about my actual personality. I can't put my finger on it. I still like most of the same stuff and whatnot, so I can't have changed too much... Maybe it's because I've grown up or something (which I swore would never happen >.< ).

But yeah... My point is a fuckload of stuff has changed in the last year... The changes I've written about here make it look like a lot has changed, but I haven't even written about everything that's changed... So it really is a rather huge amount of changeyness!

=]

Erm... yeah.

A random picture of my hand holding a can of red devil about a year ago... because I forgot what I was going to write about.

RED DEVIL IS LIQUID HAPPINESS

shizz.

I'm not gonna write about any dodgy stuff on here anymore. I now have an anonymous blog that I'm pretty sure will be pretty hard for people to find unless they know where to find it. If anyone wants the link to it, I'll give them it if they ask me for it privately... but only if it's someone I kind of trust and wouldn't really mind reading it. =/

I'm on page 138 of Tempted. It's officially the slowest I've ever read a House Of Night book. Usually with these books, I start reading and barely stop until I've read them. It's not because it's a boring book or anything. It's fucking awesome, just like the rest of them... I just can't concentrate on it very well and I've been kinda busy recently with Ike and moving into the 'flat' and stuff.

I'm currently waiting for Casualty to come on. I don't know what else to say about that, apart from that I'm vaguely excited about it! I like Casualty.

I'm going to start drawing things again. I'm not amazing at drawing, but I used to find it relaxing and stuff... I think the last thing I drew was something in art before I quit sixth form almost a year ago! o_O

Anyhow... Bye.

Bleep.

Hmm... I don't really know what the point in this post is... but meep. I need to write some shizz and I as I shredded all my diaries a few months back, I can't write in those. It's going to end up being a really long, boring post because there's a lot of stuff I need to try and sort out in my head and it kinda needs to be long because I want to save intermanet timeage. There'll probably also be a load of stuff about stuff that I don't really need to write about but keep meaning to. Also, there'll almost certainly be some stuff that doesn't make any sense to you, but meeples... It's gonna be a big jumble of random crap. I'm not going to write about everything because there's a load of shizzle I'd never dream of blogging about as I never know who's likely to read it. I just hope someone like my mother doesn't read this (mother, if you are blog-stalking me like I have a feeling you are, just pretend you haven't read anything).

Shizzle is pretty shite at the moment. Yeah, there's some good things like not having to live with other people (apart from obviously Ike) and the fact I have Isaac... but apart from that, I'm pretty sure everything else is crumbling like a ridiculously crumbly cookie.

Isaac now weighs 9lb 15.5oz. Apparently that's really good. He's perfectly well looked after according to the health visitor. It amazes me how I'm managing to look after him as well as I am because I'm certainly not in a very hoobygroovy place right now. It's definitely not easy having to look after a baby 24/7 but it's kind of like something to focus on or something. Meep, I dunno. All I know is that if Isaac didn't exist, I might not even exist anymore. It was weird earlier. It was like I'd gone back in time a bit. The health visitor was asking me a load of questions and stuff and I ended up lying... How are you feeling emotionally? Fine. Are you managing to sleep when Isaac is asleep? Yeah. Are you eating well? Yup... I thought I was over having to lie to medical peeps about shizz. But hey, ho. It stops people finding out about shizzle. Meep. I'd just got used to this health visitor. I have to change doctors and stuff this week, so I'll have a new health visitor and stuff. I don't like changes like this. I've had the same doctor since I was a baby. Even when I was living in Manchester I kept the same doctor... I hate that it has to change, even though I hate my doctor. =/

I have a huge feeling about something bad. I'm not 100% sure about it yet though, but I'm really fucking scared. Everything adds up and I know deep down that I'm right. I've got no idea what to do about it. I know that to find a way to stop it, I'm going to have to keep on at least appearing to be coping ok. I can't say any more about this on here in case certain people read it. Gosh, I wish I knew a way to make it so that certain blog posts on here can be either private or only readable by people who are following me who I'm also following.If anyone knows if that is actually possible, please let me know!

I seem to have started smoking again. It wasn't really intentional. I'd quit when I was a few months pregnant and wasn't exactly planning on starting again... but then I started only smoking when I was exceedingly stressed out by something and within a week, I found I was smoking multiple times a day. Not as much as I used to smoke, but I'm still a bit pissed off at myself. I don't smoke near Isaac though. I smoke outside. Usually when there's someone to look after Ike for a while or if he's asleep. I stay away from Isaac for a while after smoking and I have a designated 'smoking hoodie'... So don't worry. I'm pretty sure I'm not harming Isaac in any way.

Why the fuck am I drinking Pepsi?! As a rule, I never drink pepsi because of the whole promoting bullfighting thingy.  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. I'm waiting for my bed to arrive. I want it to get here sooner because when it gets here, I can give Isaac to my grandfather for a while so I can have a fag and a shower... Or maybe even a bath.

There's this specific thing I need to do. I know for a fact I'm going to do it tonight. I really don't want to, but it's the only thing I can think of to do without doing something else that I'm definitely not going to do no matter how much pressure I'm put under to do it. I wish there was another way out of doing shizz, but meep. At least it's  a kind of comprimise or whatever.

There's all this shizz swirling round in my head constantly and it's fucking annoying. There's also shizz I can barely admit to myself that I can't talk about to anyone and stuff and I fucking hate it... Not the not being able to talk to people thing (I'm not a particularly big fan of doing that anyway), the being so ashamed about something that I don't like admitting it to myself.

But yes, there's so much more shizz I want to write about, but I'm definitely not going to broadcast any more shizz to the whole internet. Blehhh. Fuck writing this shit.

Sensibleness!

I know this is probably pretty obvious stuff to most people... but I feel rather clever for thinking of it. It'll probably end up saving me a lot of money!

Instead of typing stuff like this whilst online, if I type it all offline (like I am currently doing) and only go online to actually post it, I'll be using up a lot less time and shizz on my mobile broadbandy thingy and hopefully I'll have to top it up less often.

A lot of time I spend on the internet (apart from when I'm on facebook, twitter or various forums) just involes reading random crap... So if I open a page that has a lot of stuff I wanna read on it, I'll just disconnect for the amount of time it takes to read it all. Clever, innit! =D

Sometimes if Isaac is whingey, the only thing I have found that will actually calm him down is playing him the video of Common People by Pulp (yes, I have a fucking awesome baby!)... So I now have the video (on youtube) constantly open in a tab, so whenever he gets whingey I can play it straight away without having to go online.

So yes, as a person who is used to being online pretty much constantly and never going offline, I'm pretty impressed with myself! XD

I'm also pretty impressed with myself because I've been washing things quite soon after using them. I've also constantly had at least three super-clean bottles in the steriliser, so he hasn't had to wait long if he wants a bottle and I haven't prepared one... I even have an emergency supply of ready-made milky shizz in the cupboard in case I don't have time to boil water, let it cool down and mix the powder stuff into it. I'm so fucking organized! The flat is messy, but stuff is clean. I've managed to go through a whole bottle of dettol since last night. I even made myself food last night. Yeah, it tasted like shite (twas cheap asda macaroni cheese shizz that I probably cooked wrong) and I didn't eat all of it because it was gross, but I still made it!

Last night was my first full night alone in the flat with Isaac. We had a half-night here last week, but we ended up going to my grandparents house in the middle of the night because Isaac was crying a lot and wouldn't shut up and I didn't know what to do with him (turned out he was constipated). We then spent two nights here when my mother decided to stay with us. I think I coped pretty well with him last night. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's still a dirty nappy (peed not pooped) on my bedroom floor and Isaac is wearing a terrible looking outfit (because I couldn't figure out how to put his dungarees on him), but he's still alive! He seems pretty happy and stuff. He's asleep now, so I can tidy up and whatnot... Maybe I'll make lunch or something.

Heh, it feels so weird having to look after both myself and another human and also having to clean things and be all grown up! XD

Dreamishness.

It's been a while since I blogged. I haven't really had the time. In the last month, my life has been particularly hectic with having a baby and stuff. I'm not complaining though- Isaac is hoobygroovy! He's currently asleep on me. I've also been gradually moving into my 'flat'. It now has a fridge, so it's very liveable in. It still lacks a bed though.

Last night I had a very weird dream. It was raining heavy footballs. I was in an odd building thing. I think it was supposed to be a school or something... but it was more like Hogwarts than the school I used to go to. The building was absolutely destroyed by the balls and a load of people were killed. Later on in the dream, I was shopping for Christmas cards and slightly infuriated at the amount of Winnie The Pooh cards and the lack of interesting cards. It wasn't the most interesting dream I've ever had, but I'm sure it was the only dream I've had for a few weeks. I'm usually pretty good with remembering dreams, but I haven't had one for so long that this seemed like a novelty.

Apparently I was talking in my sleep lastnight too. I haven't had any reports of that happening for a while either. It was probably because I had an Isaacless night as the grandmother was looking after him for a change. With a baby, sleep seems to happen even less than it used to... Well, not ages ago... but when I was pregnant, I'd started sleeping a lot more than I have done for many years and I kinda got used to it. Although it might just have been because I was inebriated when I went to sleep (for the first time in like 8 or 9 months or something) and it put me into a deeper sleep than I would usually have. Either way, it was fucking great to actually have a dream. I've missed them.

Might blog again some time soonish, whenever Isaac is asleep and I have nothing better to do.

Waffle

Yes, I realize this will be the third time I've blogged in 24 hours, but I don't care. I need something to do.
Excuse the way my iPod touch Americanizes pretty much everything I write. I'd go back and change everything but I really can't be bothered.
Today has been an absolutely shite day. On top of maisy dying, my laptop died too. Rufus had to go to the place far away where laptops go to be fixed. I probably won't get him back until at least wednesday. It really sucks because that laptop was my best form of entertainment and a lot of sites I go on don't work well on my iPod. If the baby is born before wednesday I probably won't even be able to put pics of him on facebook or anything. It sucks. My farm and cafe will both be absolutely fucked too. I don't know how I'm gonna survive the next few days because I hate using my iPod for too long as it gets annoying. >.<
It's weird how much I rely on the Internet for everything these days. I remember a time (back in the 90s) when I didn't even have a computer let alone the Internet. Life was so much simpler back then. I would just spend my time playing outside with my friends, making dens and playing football and whatnot. Those were definitely the best days of my life... Nothing to worry about apart from getting into trouble for getting home a little late at meal times... Oh, apart from rapists. I remember always being worried about getting raped. After learning what rape was, I expected there to be a rapist lurking in every bush and was quite scared to walk past bushes alone. And quicksand... Everywhere that was muddy was obviously quicksand and it was going to suck me into it or something... I was also worried about tetanus. Every bit of metal I found outside was evidently going to give me tetanus... But for some reason that never stopped me from playing with random bits of junk I found out there. Heh, kids are weird. If they hear a story about something they always get unnecessarily paranoid and stuff.
Gosh, I'm waffling. Probably because I'm bored. I can't even go talkto my grandmother because she's entertaining my 11 year old cousin who is staying here tonight. Meeeep. I miss maisy. Doris is very sad too.
Anyhows... I'm gonna go to try and find something to do. I might finish packing my hospital bag or something... What the hell do people do without the Internet?!

R.I.P. Maisy. =[

R.I.P Maisy.
March 2009 - October 2009.
<3

There was a phone call at nine o clock this morning. It was the vet to say Maisy had died during the night. They had tried their best to save her and there was apparently someone with her most of the night.

When she came home from the vets, she was wrapped in a tissuey thing. I know it sounds stupid, but I thought she deserved to be wrapped in some proper fabric. I'm glad I decided to change what she was wrapped in. It makes me feel a little better now that I've seen her body. It was a chance to say goodbye. I stroked her for about 10 minutes. She still looked beautiful even though she was dead.

Her body was all sprawled out, but she looked kind of peaceful. One of her eyes looked like it was stuck together with blood. The other just looked like she was sleeping. I wrapped her up with the sleeping eye facing upwards. Her body was very, very cold and stiff. For some reason her ears weren't. Apart from her being dead, she was the same old Maisy. When I was wrapping her up in the black fabric, it was really difficult to wrap up her head. It felt wrong. Eventually I managed to force myself to wrap up her whole body. I put her in a little box with birds and stuff on it.

I put a load of sunflower seeds in the box. Maisy liked sunflower seeds. I also wrote her a letter. I bought a plant pot and put some chrysanthenums and cyclomen in it. I also planted some dwarf iris bulbs too and hopefully they should grow in the spring. Maisy is buried in the box inside the soil. We had a little funeral for her.

I'm going to print off a photo of her or something and make some form of memorial thing with her name and stuff on it to put in the pot.

I'm going to really miss her. She was an awesome gerbil. She always used to jump straight into my hand and she liked to climb inside my clothes. She really shouldn't have died this young. =[

Maisy.

Maisy (the beautiful gerbil pictured above) is very sick. She has to stay at the vets overnight and stuff so they can inject her with things and stuff to try and make her better. There's quite a big chance that she wont survive. I really hope they can save her. =/

I'm glad it was the male vet that saw her. I fully trust him to look after her properly because he's really good with rodents and stuff. He helped fix Morrissey and unlike the female vet that works there, he never once tried to talk me into euthanasia.

It was horrible when I found Maisy earlier. She was just lying in the green house thing. Usually when I open the cage door, she's the first one to come running out to me. She didn't move today. I tried everything to get her to move even just a little bit. I even put a sunflower seed right in front of her face and she didn't even seem to notice. Her eyes weren't even open. I ended up lifting up the house and kind of tipping her out of it. When she was out of the house she just lay there on the floor with her eyes closed. I could see that her breathing made bigger movements than it should. I phoned the vets and they said to take her straight there. Her symptoms are very similar to the symptoms Morrissey had when he had pneumonia. When I picked her up, she was all limp in my hand and she was quite cold. I could also feel her bones in her back. =[ I hate how quickly they deteriorate. Maisy was absolutely fine the day before yesterday. Then I gradually started to see less of Maisy and more of Doris... Then this. =[

I'm really worried about her. I'm also worried about Doris because ever since Maisy has been away from her she's been acting all sad. She's very lonely. The gerbilarium doesn't look right with only one gerbil in it.

But hopefully she'll get better. I can't wait for about 9am when I'll be able to get an update on how she's doing.

I really, really, really hope the vet will be able to fix her... He's been amazing with both Polly and Morrissey in the past, so I have faith in him. I kind of have a bad feeling about Maisy though. Gerbils are so tiny. =/

*Crosses fingers for Maisy to get better*

Yesterday.

Yesterday I had a surprisingly nice day despite being pretty sleep deprived. I went to my mother's house and we went on a family jaunt to Heaton Park... Not usually the most exciting of places considering it's basically just across the road from her house and I've been there millions of times. It was definitely nicer than usual though... Probably because the ducks were being rather sociable.

Ducks have beautiful feet. They're so pretty! I was absolutely fascinated by ducky feet. I spent quite a while just looking at their feet. I took quite a few ducky pictures, but the one I took of the feet is my favourite... Probably because I like duck feet so much! Gosh, sometimes I wish I was a duck! I spent a long time talking to and watching the ducks. They were so awesome! I know I've seen the ducks many times before, but I'd never really fully devoted my attention to them. I l0ve ducks!


After spending an awfully long time looking at the ducks, I turned round and realised that my mother and half-brother had disappeared. It was just me and my grandmother. They had gone to see the animals and stuff. Me and my grandmother decided we couldn't be bothered going to see the animals (it is all uphill from the lake and being this pregnant, it wouldn't have been fun) so we went to the little cafe thingy. I had a slushie thing, a kitkat and a packet of crisps. It was rather yummy. Eventually people came back and we started walking back to my mother's house.

The weather was getting increasingly worse. It was all rainy and stuff... Not that I minded. I quite like rain. It made my favourite boots all dirty and stuff though. >.< My half-brother was asleep in his pushchair thingy and my mother decided he needed to be kept dry (he didn't have a waterproof coat or anything) so she used her coat to protect him from the rain. It was hilarious because it looked like she was pushing around a dead body in a pushchair! XD


Ooohh... when we were in the park we kept seeing sets of three magpies. A little unnerving as I'm supposed to be having a boy and three means it's a girl! XD The squirrels were being quite cute though, but I didn't get any photos of them as my camera was in my bag for the whole time we saw the squirrels.

Before I went to my mum's house, I went shopping in the hope of finding stuff for my hospital bag thing when I give birth... I couldn't find an actual bag, but I bought PJs and knickers and stuff in primark. Meeps. Hopefully I'll be able to get a bag today and finally be able to start packing!

Anyhows... Have a lovely day and hoobletoodledoo!

Not knowing what to say.

I've been pondering. I think I need to write this stuff down somehow because I've been trying to make sense of it in my head for a while and can't quite understand why any of this shizz happens to me and not other people. This blog is going to be hard to write because it's all about how I never seem to know what to say... Ironically, I have no idea how to word this blog post either... So bare (or should it be bear? =/) with me! XD

I'm shit with conversations, social interaction and all that jazz. Yeah, I'm not as terrible online because it's not like real life where you have to respond to people instantly... but it's still hard! What are you supposed to generally say to things?!

I hate being asked how I am. I never know what to say. I usually try to avoid answering those kind of questions. I'm not sure why I find it difficult. I've worked out that the socially correct answer is 'I'm ok'... but I hate lying about things. What if I'm not particularly ok? I don't want to lie to someone... but I don't want it to lead to further conversation about why I'm not actually ok... So I usually settle for saying something like 'I'm sleepy'... Even if I'm wide awake. Somehow it seems like less of a lie. If I want to divert the topic of conversation away from me, asking how the other person is seems like a good thing to do. I *think* it's also the socially correct thing to do when asked how you are. However, it poses the problem of having to think of a suitable reply to their response. If they say they're not ok, you have to think of a nice response or something... otherwise you look like a heartless bitch... But what the fuck do you say to people? You don't want to get into a conversation like this because you'll end up saying the wrong thing. You might make the person feel worse or you'll end up saying something dumb. If it's online, you could just say something like *hugs* or something... but that seems really... I dunno... I'm not really comfortable with it... Probably because I'm not at all comfortable with real life hugs unless I'm absolutely wasted... In real life, if someone tells me they feel like crap or something I'm usually all confused and stuff and end up being all like 'erm... want a cookie?' Meh! It's super hard to explain, so I'm gonna go for another example...

Compliments are the worst. I never know how to react to them. If someone compliments me, the conversation goes something like this:

Random nice person: I like your shoes.
Me: *silently gives a confused look*
**Awkward moment**

However, I just consulted with my grandmother and the normal way for a conversation like that to go would be something along the lines of:

Random nice person: I like your shoes.
Normal person: Thanks. I got them half price in Tesco...

Even in conversations that don't involve any awkward questions or compliments, I always seem to find something to get slightly flustered with. It's annoying!

Ooohh... and you know when you put stuff like 'xxx' at the end of a conversation or something? I hate doing that! Yeah, I do it sometimes, if someone else has put Xs but it's always a forced thing and I feel exceedingly weird doing it. I don't know why. Do people even care how many Xs you put? Do they read into what it means? Is there a set amount people usually put? It all confuses me, so usually I just substitute an x with a turtle or a smiley face or something... I think by doing that, I look less... robotic or something and stuff... I dunno... It's hard to explain exactly why Xs confuse me, but I *think* it's vaguely relevent to the shizz I'm writing about in this post. =/

I don't understand why everyone else in the world always knows the right thing to say, but I don't. It's like the socialisey part of me is broken! Usually in conversations with more than one person I eventually kind of fade into the background and don't say much... Just listen to what other people are saying. I'm almost incapable of talking to strangers, unless I'm with someone I know. Even if I actually know what I need to say to someone, I always get all flustered and end up choking on word vomit. Maybe I was just meant to be locked up in a box away from people for my whole life!

But yes, I could think of a zillion examples of when I don't know what to say... but it's all confuzzling and I'm getting all flustered with myself trying to write this, so I'm gonna stop... Sorry if I've confused you or made you realise I'm weirder than you already think I am! XD

Oh my, I'm horrible!

I'm so ashamed of something that happened today. I still feel terrible about it. I'm a horrible, horrible human being and should be shot!

I was sitting on a bench outside nomming a pasty and talking to my grandmother. A man walked past with a dog. Both the man and the dog were wearing bright yellow jackets. The dog was pretty cute. The back of the mans jacket said 'Guide dog' on it. He seemed to glare in my direction, so automatically I reacted. The conversation between me and my grandmother went something like this:

Me: If that guy looks at me like that again, I'll fucking...
Grandmother: Charli! He's blind! Don't be so horrible!
Me: ... Oh... Fuck...

I honestly didn't realise he was blind until it was pointed out to me. I wanted to disappear and the ground to eat me. I really, really hope he didn't hear any of what I said. It should have been obvious to me considering he had what was obviously a guide dog... but because the man was wearing a jacket that said 'Guide dog' on it, I had automatically assumed that he worked for some guide dog company or something and was training the dog. Apparently on the front of his jacket it said he was blind. I didn't see that though because it was in smaller writing and I didn't have my glasses on.

I don't think I've ever been so ashamed of myself in my life. I'm fucking mortified. How could I have been so stupid?! I don't think he heard me though because if he had, I'm guessing he would have reacted in some way... but even if he didn't hear me, I'm still ashamed... not just of my stupidity, but of the way I reacted to a man who was evidently blind. I feel so guilty. From now on I'm going to a) try to react less to random strangers and b) be a lot more observant.

I think there's something vaguely humorous about my story, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. I'm certainly more ashamed than amused though. =/

Fishies!

I'm badddd! I bought three fishies... I kinda, sorta used some of my health in pregnancy grant to get them. I can sort of justify that by pointing out that fishies are supposed to be calming, relaxing things so they're nice and healthy for me! XD Heh, I kinda feel a bit guilty about it though (especially as I've bought two new pairs of shoes recently) so I'm going to resist buying anything that isn't baby related or necessary for a while. I'm going shopping tomorrow though, so it's gonna be difficult! I guess I'll just have to stick to baby-related shops!

My fishies are hard to take good photos of as I'm not an experienced fish photographer, so I made a video instead because it was easier. Gosh, videos take forever to upload! The weird looking whitey one with all the spots and strange eyes is called Phlegm, the black one is called Fooki and the normal looking white one with gold bits is called Fanny. Yeah, they have silly names, but fish can get away with it.




So yesh, those are my new fishies. I think they're rad (even though I originally wanted to get tropical fish). It's been ages since I had fishy friends! XD

=]

Crap day.

Today has been a bad day.

It all started off with a pee-related mishap and just got worse and worse from that moment onwards.

I was peeing into a little tubey thing as I had to do a urine sample. Instead of the usual single stream of pee, for some reason there was like four or something. It was the worst possible episode of pissingness to end up peeing in a bizarre manner. I was wearing a plastic glove, but somehow I still managed to get a bit on my hands. Seriously, there's ONE hole for pee to come out of, so surely there should be ONE stream of pee. I'm pretty certain I don't have four urethras! >.<

Next I got my gaviscon prescription. They gave me the peppermint one. I've only just got used to the aniseed one and the peppermint one kind of burns my throat. Why can't they just give you the original one instead of horrible mintyness?! >.<

Then my grandfather was a twat, I moped a bit, played some Mario Kart, re-realised I was absolutely fucking shite at it, got bad heartburn so had to take the vile pepperminty gaviscon and decided to comfort eat.

I got a bag full of junk food. It contained 6 little bars of dairy milk, zillions of lollies, a wispa bar (which ended up melting because I sat on it), those little chewy refreshers things, marshmallows, a big thing of jelly beans, two of those dip dabby sherbet things and one of those things with breadsticky things and chocolatey stuff to dip them in. I ate most of it but still have quite a lot of stuff left. I also ate some fries, a mcflurry and a doughnut from mcdonalds later on. =/ It all resulted in me feeling a little icky... it's really not surprising though!

Then I had an arguemnt-type-thing with my mother. She was being all mooby about the fact I want blue blankets for the baby instead of white ones and being all bitchy about the fact that I want to find the perfect towels. Apparently it doesn't matter what towels I get the baby. It's easy for her to say- it's not her baby! Personally, I want everything to be perfect and will strive to get the best things possible. (yeah, this should probably be in my pregnancy blog, but it contributed to my day being shit which is what this post is about!)

Heh, I know it all sounds silly, but gosh... It really was a horrible day! I'm sure there was more things contributing to the crappyness, but they can't have been that important to me or I would have remembered them.

So yes... Shite day... But feel free to laugh at how I got pee on my hand!

Stuffage.

There's a cute moth flying round in here. He keeps flying into my computer screen... I think it's because it's dark and it's the only light source.

I bought some shmexiful new shoes today (see pic). I love them! It's great having shoes that aren't either slip-on things, wellies or converse with laces I can no longer tie. Not entirely sure spending £30 on shoes at this particular point in my life is the best idea I've ever had, especially when I spent over £20 on other stuff... but hey ho! I bought some socks and a couple of tops too. The tops look way too sophisticated and make me look like a posh person, but I don't care. At least they fit me better than non-maternity tops. My usual size rolls up over the bump and bigger sizes look silly because although they cover the bump, they're dead baggy around the arms and shoulders and stuff. Maternity clothes are my only real option at the moment because they don't look as ridiculous. Meeps. Hopefully I wont need to waste my money on any more clothing or anything in the next 6 weeks!

I went out tonight. It was the last time I'll see most people before they bugger off to far away university lands. It was quite a good night. Went to general pubs (Yellow, Wetherspoons and Rascals). Once again, I didn't spend any money all night. When I'm not drinking alcohol, I don't really feel the need to buy drinks. I had a bottle of water in my bag and that was all I consumed. If I had spent lots of money on drinks, it would have been a pointless waste of money. Walking up bitch hill is a lot worse than it usually would be when this pregnant. It should have some kind of warning sign at the bottom of it, telling pregnant people not to go up it. Could have died or something lol.

I'm waiting for the crazed farmer's wife who commented on my last blog post (about Llanffest) to reply. I quite enjoyed writing my replies to her. She pissed me off and amused me at the same time. My hope of her writing back is slowly dripping away... Gutted! XD I wonder what she'd say about the fact I went to pubs and walked up bitch hill whilst pregnant! There are so many things I would like to call her, but I'm not going to sink to her level. Meep. Why wont she reply?! Ooohh... maybe I've stumped her or something!

Anyhow. I'm gonna go to sleep because I'm rather sleepy. Night.

Llanffest

Went to Llanfest lastnight. I'm not sure if it's called Llanfest or Llanffest, but hey ho- who cares?!

There was a field on the way there with zillions of sheep in it. I've never seen that many sheep crammed into one field before... and considering I live in Wales, that's pretty pluckin' impressive!

Me and my friends got in for free because we used J's blue eyeliner to make it look like we had the stamps you needed to get in to the musicy place. It wouldn't have mattered if we hadn't succeeded in getting in... the music was pretty shit (in my opinion).

We spent ages erecting (lmao!) my sexy new tent. We didn't bother reading the instructions and ended up switching round two of the poley thingys with the top bit of shizzle still over the general tent... If that makes any sense... If it doesn't make sense- we spent way too long putting up a tent of average difficulty and ended up looking like absolute idiots! =D I love my new tent, even if it is quite a boring looking one.

I opened a bottle of strawberry beer with a fence. M accidentally smashed a whole bottle of wine.

There was literally no vegetarianified food there apart from candyfloss, so I nommed candyfloss... I love candyfloss! Hoobloads of sugarsugarsugarrrr!

It was a pretty good night... especially for a sober night!

Despite having no sleep whatsoever and half-noticing someone open the zip on the tent in the night (only the outsidey zip though), somehow something belonging to every person in the tent was stolen. My WKD went missing (we found the bottle empty later on >.<)... Seriously?! Who the fuck steals a pregnant person's alcohol?! Inconsiderate fannyholes! J's shoes were stolen... They turned up later on in someone elses tent... Apparently lots of people there had their shoes stolen and when we looked in the field next to the camping place, there was shoes scattered everywhere! And worst of all C's bag got stolen... I'm not sure whether she got it back or not... but it had her camera, glasses and everything else in it! I hope she retrieved it in the end. I'm not sure how any of this happened as I was awake all night and I think C and J were awake most of the night too. I found all of this shizz infuriatingly hilarious... or hilariously infuriating... but seriously, whoever did this stuff is a fucking twat... Oh, and M's glasses snapped in half... So that makes specsavers twatty too!
But then I saw a moo cow with a sheepy friend and all was good in the world...Although then I couldn't get my sleeping bag back in it's bag, which made me a little sad... So I dressed like a turd (I wore like all my clothes!) and wrote on my face.

All in all, it was hoobacious! Apart from the pregnancy related crap, which I will write about in my pregnantness blog rather than here because it seems like the right place to write about it... Oh, and apart from the fact I may have caught some form of disease from C!

Anyhow... gonna go moan about stuff in my pregnancy blog and then try to have a nap. hoobletoodledoo.

MiyaviBlog

This is my Miyavi blog.
I don't have many goodish quality pictures of him.
I'm not a great photographer and he rarely stays still enough for a good pic.
These pics are a collection of what are possibly my favourites of him.
=]

He likes to explore...

He also likes to sit on the hammocky-type-thing a lot...

This is him just after I got them.
He's now about three times the size he was back then...

He dreams of becoming a great guitarist one day...

But he's all sad and stuff because they don't make goo-sized guitars...

He gets very moody when awoken by a camera flash...

So yesss, Miyavi is hoobacious! =D

MOZBLOG!

Today I took lots of photographs at Morrissey's nomnom time.
It made me want to make a blog of some Morrissey pics... So here it is.
Some are from today, some are from other days.
They are mostly already on my flickr, but hey ho.
I never really had many good pictures of him until recently for some reason.

I'm so proud of the little dude... He's recovering quite well.
He's gone from a skinny little thing with a very wonky head...


To a great big monster who likes to nom people...


Here's proof...


RARRRRRR! XD


Looking through pics, I realised how much Morrissey looks like my half-brother...

Oh... and I thought this close up of his hands was kinda cute in a weird kind of way...


Note: Morrissey is not my favourite pet... I love them all equally.
I'll probably do a blog for each of them in the next few days.

I'm boring!

I've just realised how boring I've become.
I was reading through old blogs from like a year ago and they were a lot more interesting and they were written better... I think it must be because of the lack of alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and whatnot. I haven't been drunk since early Febuary (still refusing to spell that correctly...), so obviously that's made my life a lot less interesting! I haven't been legally drunk yet, which is just weird considering I've been eighteen for just over five months! I haven't smoked since like June or July or something. I'm still consuming small amounts of caffeine from diet coke and tea and stuff, but it's been many moons since I last had a can of red bull or red devil... In fact, I'm pretty sure the last can of red bull I remember consuming is the super-huge can I consumed to make myself need to pee enough to take the pregnancy test in Febuary. I've definitely changed a lot since then.

So yeah... I think it all comes down to lack of substances. I'm just not myself anymore... Well, technically I'm more myself. I don't like it at all. I'm just an uber boring version of me. There's a hole somewhere inside me that needs to be filled with stuff that's probably bad for it.

I think I'm broken. I hope it's all down to lack of stuff... If it turns out to be because I'm growing up or something, I'm not sure how I'll fix it. Seven weeks left until I can attempt to fix myself (responsibly of course)... Can't wait!

Good night.

I was going to do a blog about when I dyed my hair today... but I realised that as I've had pink hair a zillion times before, it's really not that interesting... I might do one tomorrow though... but for tonight, the dude with the ketchup is much more interesting.

In the pub earlier, a random chav dude (who was evidently completely wasted) came and sat down next to F. He proceeded to make pervy comments about B's tits and eat a few of L's chips. He was talking a load of bollocks and he was dead weird... All of a sudden, he turned super-duper arsey, picked up the ketchup bottle and squirted the entire contents in the direction of L. L and F were covered in ketchup and so was the table and the floor. I almost got hit by some ketchup, but luckily I didn't. It was fucking hilarious (well, I found it amusing anyway)! The people that work in the pub were a bit pissed off and when they told him to leave, he was being all mooby with them... They then told him that if he didn't leave, they'd get the police... So he left... All that over a bit of ketchup! XD The thing that confuses me more than why he did it, is why his weapon of choice was ketchup when he was wearing a WHITE t-shirt! It was a bizarre few minutes!

Later on, we were at a drum & bass thingy above Rascals. The squigglytiddlypeep was moving around a lot. I think he liked the music! The closer I was to the speakers, the more the baby moved. He must have been dancing or something! =D The lighting was fascinating! I'm not usually that amazed by stuff like this, but it had been months since I was last in a place with cool light shizzle! It made my hand look spectacular (see picture). My feet hurt from standing up so much though!

So yes, pretty good night. Must go attempt sleepies now!

Boringnessss

I'm writing this because I need to update this blog because it's been over a week, so excuse the probable boringness of it all.

I can't be bothered with anything. I would quite like to have a nap, but there's hoobloads of plinky plonky music in my head that's making nappage impossible. Meep. There's so much I need to do anyway. I have to sort out some financial things (fill in 2 forms, send them off, work out how much money i've spent in the last 2 days, go to a cash machine, give my grandmother the money I owe her and work out how much money I'm allowed to spend tonight) and fix my hair (which involves bleaching it, having a hissy fit over the fact it didn't turn out light enough, possibly trimming it a bit due to sizzleifiedness, dying it pink and making it look less stupid and... floppy). I have to do all that before 7pm.

I shouldn't have gone out lastnight. I had 2 vodka and cokes, which is like my weekly alcohol ration. I'm going out tonight too, so should have really just have had coke yesterday. I'm going to end up just drinking coke tonight, but I need to remember my ID anyway! XD

Found a dead hedgehog outside the graveyard on my way home lastnight. It saddened me. I don't think I've ever seen a hedgehog that was actually alive! I'd love to see one one day.
Oh, and whilst walking past Varsity, there was a magical yet annoying moment when I was walking past all the people smoking outside. It was like... fresh air... it was amazing... but it just made me realise how much I wanted a fag of my own. I miss smoking.

Anyhow... Even though I have no mynadd whatsoever, I'm gonna go feed Morrissey his medicine and do all the shit I have to do! Hoobletoodledoo.

My day.

It's been a long day that kinda seems like three different days today. I'm going to write about it because I have nothing else to do apart from sleep. Sorry about the boring blog post! XD

Day one

I had to take Morrissey to the vets as his eye wouldn't open because it was all stuck together and stuff. They gave him some really expensive shizz to put in his eye. When I got home, I was trying for ages to apply it, but it wouldn't work because he was too wriggly and didn't want anyone to go anywhere near his eye. It's even harder to give him than his baytril was before I discovered putting it in his food.

Day two

I went to Llandudno with my grandmother and cousin. We looked in shops and stuff. I bought a top in river island for £27. Way too expensive, especially considering it'll fit me for like a week or so before I grow out of it. We went to the cafe place in BHS (yes, the shop of old lady knickers and whatnot). I had a cakey thing and it was absolutely fucking minging. I don't think I've ever eaten anything as gross. It looked dead tasty too. >.< It was very hot in there and the heat on top of the cakey thing made me feel all gross! Twasn't nice.

Day three

Went out. I guess I was celebrating other people's A level results and/or the fact that I didn't have any results to worry about or something. Met up with a friend in Wetherspoons. We discussed the diversity of people there along with how it was evidently a racist pub because it was full of white people. We then went to Yellow. It's usually a very full pub. Tonight it was rather empty. We had gone there in search of other people, and on results night it happened to be pretty quiet. We were confused and whatnot. I got ID'd when buying a coke. Yes, a regular coke with no vodka or anything in it. Apparently it's an over 18s only pub. I never got kicked out for not having ID when I was 17 (or even 18 without ID)! A hoobload of people got sent out for not having ID and it was fucking hilarious to watch! It did make me lol getting IDd when buying a non-alocholic drink though! XD I got kinda stuck when crawling under a table (not exactly the best thing to do whilst pregnant)! The toilets were all icky and someone said something about having to wiggle instead of wiping. I decided to stay well away from the toilets and went to the toilets in Skerries. We stayed in Skerries for ages. It was quite nice, although the thingy was giving pistachios instead of chocolate raisins today, which I found quite offensive. After we were in Skerries, we got nomnoms from some kebab place. We then saw people we know and found out that everyone else had been in Varsity or Phoenix all night. Not sure why people bothered with Varsity though- it was packed with chavs! Blahblahblah... We saw some wasted dude try to flag down an ambulance lol... and one of my friends very nearly got puked on! Twas a good night.

So yeah... very long day. Must sleep. Hoobletoodledoo!

Hopickleness

I wasn't sure whether to put this in my pregnantness blog or not, but as it's probably not pregnancy-related it can go here!

On Saturday morning I woke up with possibly the worst pain of my life in my leg. Then it was still all hurty, but not as bad... I wasn't really worried about it, just rather confused as to why it was hurting. My mum told me to go to the hospital... I didn't want to, but my grandmother phoned the hospital and they told me to go there immediately. So (very reluctantly) I did.

In A&E I didn't have to wait more than about 5 mins to be seen even though there were hoobloads of other peeps there... being pregnant has its advantages! There was a lot of waiting that wasn't in the waitingy place though... There was many a cranefly and it was kinda scary because they looked so much like other things that are fucking terrifying! >.<>.<

I was very, very bored in the hospital and I hated it. I was the only youngish person on the ward. Everyone else was like 30 or 40. People were speaking Wenglish too (Welsh mixed in with English) which annoyed me. It would be ok if they were speaking either Welsh or English, but Wenglish is annoying. Last night I got a visit from some friends I hadn't seen for ages though, so that made hospitalness more bearable for an hour or so! On the thingys, I could only get on a crappy version of facebook. My DS ran out of chargeyness this morning. Twas all wayyy too boring. I discovered a weird woman who sits by a vending machine in the hospital reading all day, every day... She was odd.

There was one super-bitch nurse on the ward. I didn't like her at all and I'm not sure why. She made my first belly injection hurt more than the second (which was done by a different person) and it left a much bigger bruise than the next injection. Most of the doctors, nurses, midwives etc were nice... and one of them liked Morrissey too, which was cool. There was a piece of paper from 1991 (when I was born) with information about my birth and stuff on it. It was all discoloured with age and looked out of place next to my new notes. I'm not sure how it got there, but I think they had it because my mum gave birth to me on the same ward that I was on. I got asked some really awkward questions about some stuff on my medical records though... but they weren't asked in an evil manner. All in all, people were nice... even in A&E. It was weird!

I finally had my scan to see if it actually was a blood clot. Twas embarrassing because I had to take off my trousers as my leg had to be scanned right up to the groin. It turned out it wasn't a clotty thing and my horrid injections and stuff were pointless. The doctors and stuff seemed convinced it was a DVT... They now think I pulled a muscle pretty badly... in my sleep... Only I could do that! I have to go back there if my leg gets all weird or anything. I'm so glad to be home! It was a nightmare. At least I now know I'm unlikely to get a pulmonary embolism and die. =]

The food was shit. I thought cheese sandwiches were impossible to fuck up, but the ones there were only just edible. I had jacket potato and it was vile... it was like eating a large, barbecued testicle. Luckily, I had a small supply of junk food to keep me going. I hated not being able to use the toilets as much as I wanted to. I have a weird thing about toilets so I had to avoid them as much as I could, so peed as little as possible.

Ooohh... a couple of random people on the ward said I looked quite small for 31 weeks. I thought I was huge! XD

I got like no sleep in the hospital, and I can't wait to finally go to sleep in my nice new (well, new to my bedroom) bed tonight!

Bedrooms, Pain, Fucktards and Mario Kart...

I have a bed! Like, a proper bed! My room looks 100% different. See- lookies at piccies! I wish I had a before picture for comparison. It's a dramatic change and it's awesome. Spent hoobloads of time sorting everything out. Yay for productivity. In the 2 pics you can see most of the room. It looks dead tidy... Not as tidy as it could be, but considerably better than it did. I've emptied things, got rid of things and whatnot. Done hoobloads! I'm so proud of myself for being so productive recently. And yes, I am aware that my bed looks like it belongs to a 5 year old... I like it that way! =D

It was so weird this morning. I woke up screaming. I had the worst pain I've ever had in my life. It was like a crampy thing in my leg and it was horrid. After a few mins I kind of sorted it out, limped to the bathroom, peed, went back to my room and went back to sleep. When I awoke, it was still quite painful (and still is right now). It feels all achey in a weird way and hurts pretty badly if I bend/straighten out my ankle too much or try to walk up and down the stairs. It hurts when I walk too, but not as badly and I'm getting used to it now. I have no idea what's wrong with it. I've been trying to contact my mother to ask her about it (because she's a nurse and knows more about medical crap than me) all day, but as usual, her phone is switched off. >.<

I'm so, so VERY pissed off... Not because of my mothers ignorageness, but because of her brother. He hasn't spoken to my grandmother for months. She's really upset about it and she didn't do anything wrong. Some shit (that I'm not gonna go into) happened a couple of months ago and she kicked her husband out for like a day or something. It was only partly because of the shit that happened blablablaaah. Ever since then, he hasn't spoken to her. My grandfather asked him why he isn't speaking to her and he said it was because he's angry because of that, it's her fault he didn't get a job he applied for and apparently my mum has a right to side with her husband or something. He also seems to have a problem with the fact that I live here and his mother treats me as though I'm her daughter rather than a granddaughter. But yeah, it's fucking stupid. The stuff that happened between my grandparents is in the past now and was none of his business anyway... Excuse me, but HOW THE FUCK is him fucking up an interview for a job he wasn't even qualified for anything to do with my grandmother?! And the thing about my mum and stepdad... Well, neither me or my grandparents have any idea what the fuck he's on about! Anyway, these things are to do with my grandparents, my mum and her husband. Nothing to do with him. He's such a fucking twat and if I wouldn't get into trouble, I'd get on a train, turn up at his house and beat the crap outta him... Wanktard. I actually hate him more than I currently dislike his twin brother.

I'm currently re-addicted to Mario Kart DS. I don't really have anything to say about it apart from 'ohmygod I forgot how awesome it is'! If anyone has the game and wants to play against me, just give me your friend code! XD

Hoobletoodledoo!

Silly Stanny!

Picture this: Pregnant person, confused and unable to move, sandwiched between a mattress and a bunk bed thingy... That happened to me today. I was putting my mattress back on my bed thing after sorting out everything I kept up there instead of my mattress. I thought I would be able to put the mattress back on to the bed while I was still on the bed... It didn't exactly go to plan... It worked eventually though! It was quite hard to breathe because of all the dust and the fact I had a heavy mattress on top of me. I could barely move. I thought I was going to have to stay up there for the rest of my life. After at least half an hour of wriggling, I finally managed to be on top of the mattress instead of under it. So now I have a bed... A bed that's only going to be there for a few more days, but one that I don't think I'll be able to sleep in anyway. I currently pee like a zillion times a night and find it difficult to climb the ladder these days anyway (that's why I've been on a mattress on the floor for quite a few months). So I'll probably end up sleeping on the floor. It's stupid really... I'm not even sure why I put the mattress up there anyway! *rolls eyes at self*

Awww, Miyavi is nomming a big block of hay. I'd nom some too, but I'm trying to stop myself from eating so much food that isn't intended for humans. So far in the last week or so I've sampled mushed up degu food, a bit of hamster food and a doggie chocolate button. No, not weird cravings (well. the degu food thing kinda was), just curiosity.

I don't really know what to write. I just kinda felt the need to tell the bloggiverse how silly I am. Hoobletoodledoo!

Ultra-boringness.

Hoobledoop! I have nothing interesting to write about once again. If you don't want to die of boredom, please stop reading now. I apologise for even writing this... I'm just so bored right now!

I found a load of stamps yesterday (well, technically the day before) and decided to write some letters. I used to write lots of letters about a year and a half ago... Then I just kind of stopped for some reason. The letters I wrote said nothing interesting and were pretty random, but it felt like I was doing something good with my time. It was super-fun to write things and I drew pictures for people too. Not good, super-artistic things... Just random little things. It felt so good posting them though. It made me feel productive.

Talking of productivity, I'm still in the process of getting rid of lots of stuff I own. I've been sorting out a different part of my room each day. I'm slowly getting to where I want to be with my room. Hopefully in a week or so, it'll be completely different! It's weird that I now have two useable desks when three days ago I didn't have one. In a few more days it'll be down to one useable desk as one of them is attatched to the underneath of my bed thingy and I'm going to dismantle that to make room for the bed from my mum's house.

Ooohhh... My uncle, cousins and auntie are currently in my mums house while she is in Scotland. (If I find out anyone has been sleeping in my room, I'll cut them up into little pieces and feed the chopped up bits of person to Jarvis. >.<) Apparently, one of my cousins (who can't even walk yet) was climbing up and down the stairs and fell down them. Why the fuck were they letting him do that unsupervised? My mum doesn't let my half brother (who is older than my cousin and can walk and stuff) go on the stairs alone. There's a gate at the top of the stairs and a door at the bottom, so there's really no excuse! I'm now worried about Mickey and Sunny (my cats) as if they are that irresponsible with their own son, they obviously can't be trusted with someone elses cats! >.<

Oooohhooohhooohhh... I just realised, I haven't written about Morrissey's good news yet! A few days ago I took him to the vets and he'd put on 25 grams since they last saw him. There was no more talk of putting him to sleep. He was breathing ok and everything. The vet said that I just need to keep making sure he eats and giving him his medicine. His head is going to stay tilted for probably at least a month or so (apparently that's a brainy, inner ear-y thingy). I have to keep giving him his medicine for quite a long time, even if he seems to be better. He's now becoming a lot more lively and stuff. He ate loads of the mush when I was feeding him earlier... The most mush I've ever seen him eat... I'm so proud of him! I know there's still a long way to go with him, but he definitely seems to be on the mend! =D

Blah, blah, blah. Might as well give up on this and consider going to sleep or something.

Degus, bog-monsters and vampires,

I'm so proud of Morrissey (the degu)! On Wednesday morning I have to take him to the vets. He has to have put on weight by then. Assuming my scales measure grams the same as the ones in the vets, I'm pretty sure he's put on about 15 grams since Thursday or Friday or whenever he went there! He weighed 155g in the vets, yesterday he weighed 168g and today he weighs 171 grams... I think! He's hard to measure, as the number on the scales changes if he moves even just a little bit! He's started taking his new (and apparently vile tasting) medicine very well. Mixing it up in his food and spoon feeding him it was definitely a good idea! =]

Both goos seem quite cheerful tonight. Earlier on, Morrissey was sitting on my hand being fed and making his happy noise, whilst Miyavi was playfully rolling a thingy of hay around the cage. It made me to happy to see them both so happy and to see Morrissey eating. Every time I see him eat anything at the moment is great because I know he's eating and probably isn't going to lose any more weight. =]

Tried some of the mushy degu shizz I've been feeding Morrissey this morning. I thought the smell was quite appealing and had to try some for myself. It tasted just like porridge, but a little bit weird. I wasn't too impressed with the weird tasting bit of it and I wasn't sure what some of the ingredients were, so I had two bowls of porridge to satisfy my degu food craving... They really are freakishly similar!

Ooohh... I went to my auntie's house this afternoon. Apparently I scarred my cousin-type-thing for life... Oops... Apparently she flushes the toilet really quickly and runs out as fast as she can whenever she uses the toilet because of a stupid little story about 'bog monsters' I told her in the graveyard when I was about 13 and she was about 6. I feel kind of guilty about it, but it's fucking hilarious!

Tomorrow will be super-busy... I have to have my anti-d injection. I have to have my blood stolen and tested for things tomorrow too as I keep freaking out about getting the blood stolen after the incident a couple of weeks ago. Because there's so much shizz that needs doing, I'm worried I'll be in the hospital for a very long time. I have to go to the job centre to 'sign on' in the early afternoon. Thankfully, it'll be the last time I have to do that (I think). The people at the job centre are twats apart from like one person there! I need to find time in the hospital to ask what they actually do with the blood after testing it for things. I'm certain they are vampires, especially after the midwife joked about being one... but I want to know for sure what they really do with all the blood!

Hoobletoodledoo!