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I've been in my grandparentals house for a few days because my grandfather was away. I'm going back home tonight though. I can't wait! My place is a lot cleaner. Can't go back until after my grandfather has been to church though.

Talking of churches...I was actually sickened by everything written on www.godhatesgoths.com . I spent a while flicking through pretty much everything on the site before I stumbled across this. After finding out the whole thing isn't serious, I now find it pretty amusing. However, as I know there are many people around the world that actually have these beliefs, I am still quite fucking sickened. I'm so glad I stumbled across the disclaimer. If I hadn't, I think I would have spent the rest of my life attempting to track down a fictional character so I could completely rip him to shreds. But yes, my mind is now at rest after finding out that Rev RG Green doesn't actually exist.

I hate that my grandmother likes to watch I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. There have been 2 occasions in the last 3 days where I've turned round to see s****rs on the tv. I have panicked both times. I fucking hate it. If I was alone and had seen something like that, I would not have been able to cope with it at all... Which would be exceptionally bad when I have a baby to look after. There should be some kind of warning or something. Bleeeep! I can't believe I used to love that show years ago. I guess I jsut wasn't as immensely terrified of stuff back then.

I'm drinking Pepsi again... Even though I'm morally opposed to the stuff. It's cheap and tastes good. =/

Anyhows, bye!

Stuff and stuff.

After spending from midnight until whenever I fell asleep completely freaking out about spiders, I woke up to find that a) a whole pack of chocolate digestives was now empty and b) I really, quite desperately needed to pee.

I very jumpily (not jumpy in a boing kinda way, more of a fuckisthatblackbitonthewallaspider kinda way) made my way to the toilet (quite an achievement considering a few hours ago I couldn't leave my room) and urinated. It was one of the best pees of my life because I had been holding it in since I saw the spider.

I'm not sure what happened to the chocolate digestives... The pack was definitely full earlier and I'm sure it can't have been the dog because it was closed with a pretty good knot and stuff... I don't think dogs can untie knots... I must have eaten them in my sleep.

I cautiously made my way back to my bedroom and gave Morrissey his medicine (an hour earlier than I was going to because I wanted to go back to sleep). Instead of going back to sleep I ended up realising I was awake and writing this. Currently Morrissey and Miyavi are cleaning eachother or something and it's adorable. I wish I had my camera to make a video of it!

Morrissey terrified me last night. I honestly thought he had died for a few minutes. He didn't appear to be breathing and he was staying very still. I opened the cage door and he still didn't move. In the state of freaked outishness I was already in, I was all like 'Fuck' and shouted to my grandmother that Morrissey was dead. She came out of her room and I think she was really sad about him dying. She asked if I was sure he was dead so I poked him. He glared at me and kind of licked my finger. I felt stupid. Now I'm really scared of him dying. Meep. I think he's getting a bit better though.

The spider was big and on the wall. It was horrible. Nobody else could find it (I'm sure they didn't even believe me about it), so I barricaded myself in my room. Tears streaming down my face (yes, I actually cried o_O), I sat in my room for hours just freaking 0ut and whatnot. I remember getting harder and harder to breathe and I made a pact with myself never to leave my room because all escape routes had potential spiders. In the event of a spider actually being in my room, my plan was to somehow break the window and climbb down the front of the house. Stupid, much? I'm so glad I fell asleep. If I hadn't, I'd still be freaking out now. Horrible, horrible night.

Yesterday was cool though. I made bread using this recipe. It tasted pretty good and it was great to pretend it was someone I didn't like whilst beating the crap out of it. I got told that I would kill the yeast by stabbing it and that it would also die when I cooked it. I proceeded to cry about it (heh, I think I was slightly hormonal or something yesterday- I hardly ever cry)! All I could think was 'poor yeast'. Luckily, I soon got over my yeast sympathy. I think I'm going to start baking more stuff again.

I'm going to stop writing this now.