PANCAKEDAYBLOG

DAMMIT! I forgot to take pictures of my pancakes! I wish I was still vegan because I think vegan pancakes taste better! Even so, it was nice having someone else make me pancakes. My grandmother did it for me. She got a pretty nasty burn from the fryingpan though... but the pancakes were exceedingly yumsome even though Polly puked half way through the making of them. Gosh, I love pancake day. I think I'm going to give up crisps for Lent... even though I don't believe in Christian stuff.

I hate JLS, but I found out that if you sing Beat Again to Ike, he laughs his head off. It's hilarious! XD I love it when he laughs! =]

Meep, I have stuff to do, so I'm not going to write anything else here today. Hoobletoodledoo!

xmas eve and liberation

I have nothing else I need to do today. I'm just waiting for the baby to wake up for feedage and have been for the last hour. I feel liberated. I can do whatever the hell I want to do. It's amazing. I should have had a bath or something. Not gonna risk it now though. He's bound to wake up soon.

It's now Christmas eve. I'm still like a 5 year old. I can't wait for Christmas. It's going to be weird not being the youngest person in the house on Christmas day though. I don't know why I like Christmas so much. It always ends in immense family arguments. It's great until the arguing starts though, and it's great after it ends. I'm going to get drunk this year because I'm a grown up so nobody can tell me how much alcohol I'm allowed to drink! XD I've been wrapping every present I've bought Isaac. I realised (after wrapping everything) that it's a complete waste of time because I'm going to be the one opening them anyway! Isaac isn't even old enough to really appreciate wrapping paper. I'm silly! :P I have lots to do today. I need to go shopping on behalf of my grandmother to get my grandfather's present, I need to buy something for my uncle, I need to go to pets at home and buy the animals presents and I need to track Santa on google earth. Busybusybusy.

I'm getting fed up of waiting for Ike to wake up. I think I'll try to go to sleep. As soon as I'm almost asleep, he's bound to wake up! XD

=[

I'm terrible at this whole being a mother thingy. Isaac is in the hospital and I'm not even there with him. He's not alone though... my grandmother is staying there with him. I really want to be there with him, but I could feel myself getting slightly panicky at the thought of staying overnight...Probably because I have bad memories of the ward he is on and the fact that I hate hospitals and can't make myself talk to people there. I still have a chest infection and am coughing quite a lot. I don't think people can catch stuff off me anymore though... but I didn't want to risk spreading germs into a hospital. I need to get some sleep too... Meep. I shouldn't even be trying to justify not staying with him. I should have stayed there, end of.

He seems fine now. Why couldn't they just let him go home? My grandparents house is about a 3 minute drive from the hospital.

I'm rather pissed off. I'm pissed off because I'm not with him, because he has to stay there and because they spelled his first AND last name wrong on things.

Meep. I miss him.

proudblog

I know I said I wasn't going to write about boring things anymore, but I'm having an omgi'msoeffingproudofstan moment, so decided I'd be all bloggy and stuff!

I just spoke on the phone to the health visitor (the new one) that I've never met before. I even spoke to the other health visitor yesterday, but I've met her before so even though it was a big deal for me then, this is fucking massive for me! I didn't freak out. I held a conversation. I only answered my phone because it's ringing was annoying me. But yeah, this was the first time ever that I've been brave enough to speak to someone that I don't know on the phone. Usually I refuse to speak to anyone that isn't my mother or a grandparent. Heh, yeah... WOOOSHHHH!! =D *does whatever proud people do* I seriously feel like a fucking lion!

Ooohh, I'm also proud because I also managed to look after Isaac last night when I felt like crap in every way possible! He was a surprisingly good boy though... I think he's probably sleeping more than usual because he caught my lurgy though. =/

 My grandmother is coming out of hospital today. I'm slightly pissed off at her because she was supposed to stay there for 5 days and be all quarantineified because apparently after her operation, she was like a zillion times more likely to get infections or something. She managed to talk them round to letting her out today though. Personally I think that's rather stupid of her, but she doesn't listen to anyone! Yeah, if I was in her position I would probably have done the same because hospitals suck, but mooo- it's still stupid! >.<

Hoobletoodledoo!

ch, ch, ch, ch, changes...

It's weird how much life can change in a year. This time last year, I'd never even thought about having a baby. In fact, I was 99.9% certain I didn't want to ever have a baby. Shit happened, I got pregnant and POW- I have the most awesome squigglytiddlypeep in the world and wouldn't do anything to change that even if I had a time machine. A year ago I actually disliked babies. Now that I have Isaac, I'm obsessed! It's so fucking weird lol!

A year ago I was in sixth form and yeah, I'd thought many times about quitting... but I was determined to stick at it until I actually got a-levels, especially since I'd quit college the previous year and already failed at it once. I somehow ended up quitting that. It was kind of accidental (in a kind of 'blahh- I'll go to school tomorrow' kind of way), but I'm happy I did. I'd hate to have to leave Isaac all day every day to do school stuff! It would have been awful being the only pregnant looking person in school. I have the rest of my life to do educationy shizz. I plan to be in uni by I'm 25. Knowing me, it probably wont happen, but hey ho!

A year ago I lived with my grandparents (in fact, a month ago I did) but now I live in a pretty awesome 'flat' thing with Ikeydoodle and it couldn't be any awesomer. I love not having to share a bathroom with other people. Yeah, even though I don't have people telling me what to do all the time, I'm still not free to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it because my life revolves around Ike, but I don't mind.

A year ago I saw my friends pretty much every day. Now that most of them have toddled off to uni in far away places, I hardly ever see them anymore. I've become kind of like a loner with a baby, but it's cool... It means I actually look forward to seeing friends rather than just socialising because it's something that happens a lot.

A year ago I had quite a lot of piercings. Currently I only have my tongue piercing and nose piercing in (still have other holes in my face, but they have nothing in them). My beloved bridge piercing closed up because they made me take it out in the hospital when I was getting all sewn up after having Isaac and I ended up forgetting to put it back in. The day I realised I couldn't put it back in was a terrible one. I'd had that piercing since before I did my GCSEs and it had become a part of my face. I barely recognise myself now. I'm going to rectify the lack of piercings some time soon. I can't believe it's been over a year since I got any piercings or tattoos. Soon that will all change again.

A year ago I was vegan. Now I'm just your average vegetarian. I only changed that because I was pregnant and couldn't be bothered with a dietician dictating to me what I should eat. I'm not 100% sure why I'm still un-vegan. I still have all the same views on shizz like this. I plan to reveganise myself some time soon. Maybe January 1st? Seems like a good time to me... I might just make it a gradual thing though. I didn't do that the first time round. It seems like a good idea.

I was even a completely different person a year ago. I'm not sure what's changed about my actual personality. I can't put my finger on it. I still like most of the same stuff and whatnot, so I can't have changed too much... Maybe it's because I've grown up or something (which I swore would never happen >.< ).

But yeah... My point is a fuckload of stuff has changed in the last year... The changes I've written about here make it look like a lot has changed, but I haven't even written about everything that's changed... So it really is a rather huge amount of changeyness!

=]

Sensibleness!

I know this is probably pretty obvious stuff to most people... but I feel rather clever for thinking of it. It'll probably end up saving me a lot of money!

Instead of typing stuff like this whilst online, if I type it all offline (like I am currently doing) and only go online to actually post it, I'll be using up a lot less time and shizz on my mobile broadbandy thingy and hopefully I'll have to top it up less often.

A lot of time I spend on the internet (apart from when I'm on facebook, twitter or various forums) just involes reading random crap... So if I open a page that has a lot of stuff I wanna read on it, I'll just disconnect for the amount of time it takes to read it all. Clever, innit! =D

Sometimes if Isaac is whingey, the only thing I have found that will actually calm him down is playing him the video of Common People by Pulp (yes, I have a fucking awesome baby!)... So I now have the video (on youtube) constantly open in a tab, so whenever he gets whingey I can play it straight away without having to go online.

So yes, as a person who is used to being online pretty much constantly and never going offline, I'm pretty impressed with myself! XD

I'm also pretty impressed with myself because I've been washing things quite soon after using them. I've also constantly had at least three super-clean bottles in the steriliser, so he hasn't had to wait long if he wants a bottle and I haven't prepared one... I even have an emergency supply of ready-made milky shizz in the cupboard in case I don't have time to boil water, let it cool down and mix the powder stuff into it. I'm so fucking organized! The flat is messy, but stuff is clean. I've managed to go through a whole bottle of dettol since last night. I even made myself food last night. Yeah, it tasted like shite (twas cheap asda macaroni cheese shizz that I probably cooked wrong) and I didn't eat all of it because it was gross, but I still made it!

Last night was my first full night alone in the flat with Isaac. We had a half-night here last week, but we ended up going to my grandparents house in the middle of the night because Isaac was crying a lot and wouldn't shut up and I didn't know what to do with him (turned out he was constipated). We then spent two nights here when my mother decided to stay with us. I think I coped pretty well with him last night. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's still a dirty nappy (peed not pooped) on my bedroom floor and Isaac is wearing a terrible looking outfit (because I couldn't figure out how to put his dungarees on him), but he's still alive! He seems pretty happy and stuff. He's asleep now, so I can tidy up and whatnot... Maybe I'll make lunch or something.

Heh, it feels so weird having to look after both myself and another human and also having to clean things and be all grown up! XD

Dreamishness.

It's been a while since I blogged. I haven't really had the time. In the last month, my life has been particularly hectic with having a baby and stuff. I'm not complaining though- Isaac is hoobygroovy! He's currently asleep on me. I've also been gradually moving into my 'flat'. It now has a fridge, so it's very liveable in. It still lacks a bed though.

Last night I had a very weird dream. It was raining heavy footballs. I was in an odd building thing. I think it was supposed to be a school or something... but it was more like Hogwarts than the school I used to go to. The building was absolutely destroyed by the balls and a load of people were killed. Later on in the dream, I was shopping for Christmas cards and slightly infuriated at the amount of Winnie The Pooh cards and the lack of interesting cards. It wasn't the most interesting dream I've ever had, but I'm sure it was the only dream I've had for a few weeks. I'm usually pretty good with remembering dreams, but I haven't had one for so long that this seemed like a novelty.

Apparently I was talking in my sleep lastnight too. I haven't had any reports of that happening for a while either. It was probably because I had an Isaacless night as the grandmother was looking after him for a change. With a baby, sleep seems to happen even less than it used to... Well, not ages ago... but when I was pregnant, I'd started sleeping a lot more than I have done for many years and I kinda got used to it. Although it might just have been because I was inebriated when I went to sleep (for the first time in like 8 or 9 months or something) and it put me into a deeper sleep than I would usually have. Either way, it was fucking great to actually have a dream. I've missed them.

Might blog again some time soonish, whenever Isaac is asleep and I have nothing better to do.

Good night.

I was going to do a blog about when I dyed my hair today... but I realised that as I've had pink hair a zillion times before, it's really not that interesting... I might do one tomorrow though... but for tonight, the dude with the ketchup is much more interesting.

In the pub earlier, a random chav dude (who was evidently completely wasted) came and sat down next to F. He proceeded to make pervy comments about B's tits and eat a few of L's chips. He was talking a load of bollocks and he was dead weird... All of a sudden, he turned super-duper arsey, picked up the ketchup bottle and squirted the entire contents in the direction of L. L and F were covered in ketchup and so was the table and the floor. I almost got hit by some ketchup, but luckily I didn't. It was fucking hilarious (well, I found it amusing anyway)! The people that work in the pub were a bit pissed off and when they told him to leave, he was being all mooby with them... They then told him that if he didn't leave, they'd get the police... So he left... All that over a bit of ketchup! XD The thing that confuses me more than why he did it, is why his weapon of choice was ketchup when he was wearing a WHITE t-shirt! It was a bizarre few minutes!

Later on, we were at a drum & bass thingy above Rascals. The squigglytiddlypeep was moving around a lot. I think he liked the music! The closer I was to the speakers, the more the baby moved. He must have been dancing or something! =D The lighting was fascinating! I'm not usually that amazed by stuff like this, but it had been months since I was last in a place with cool light shizzle! It made my hand look spectacular (see picture). My feet hurt from standing up so much though!

So yes, pretty good night. Must go attempt sleepies now!

Shizzle...

I don't have much to write about today because I wrote about all the super-weird stuff here. I'm just going to write about some other shizz here.

It's been a weird day. Not a good day at all, but calling it a bad day would kind of be lying because I actually quite enjoyed most of it apart from the really bad bits. The good and the bad sort of balance eachother out today to make it a neutral day... Although it's been a really weird day, so maybe rather than trying to work out whether it was great or shit, I should just focus on the oddness of it all.

I went to Manchesterland. I was helping babysit the half-brother and shopping. I was pushing him round the shops for a few hours. I looked really weird though because:
a) I knew that all the random strangers thought I was his mother... He's 2 but I think he looks kind of older and I'm 18 but look younger (although apparently I look older now I'm pregnant), so they must have thought I got pregnant when I was about 12. o_O Didn't really bother me though, because I don't give a fuck what people think and I know for a fact that I'm definitely not his mother!
And b) We were coincidentally wearing almost identical shirts with jeans and have the same colour hair... We actually looked kind of like clones and it was rather scary!

His pushchair was so hard to control! It was worse than a shopping trolley and now I'm worried about how difficult the one I get will be to control! I'm so glad he was in his pushchair when we went round all teh shops though. Went to Sainsbury's later on without the pushchair and he was a nightmare. I learned quite a lot about looking after 2 year olds today... should come in useful in like 2 years. XD

Anyhows, I spent a fuckload of money today! I bought a hoobacious moses basket, a baby sleeping bag thingy, some awesome (if somewhat overpriced) clothes from Pumpkin Patch (the one with the stars [gosh, i hate it when i buy something and find it cheaper online] and some of those things babies wear that are somewhere between shoes and socks), a Remy (from Ratatouille) plushie thing, a disney phone toy thing for my half-brother that was probably not worth the £8 I spent on it but was still pretty cool and general junk foody items. It all came to like £100 or something. I still have loads of money left though... Ooohh... I got a letter telling me that people are going to give me more money than I thought they were going to and it's pretty hoobacious! =D I love that I finally have money that wasn't given to me by grandparents!

Heh, I'm gonna stop writing now because I'm not being very interesting! I'm turning into such a boring person! Hoobletoodledoo!

Trousers and stuff...

Oh my golly gosh! I just almost got electrocuted... I was unplugging my laptop wirey thing and I got a big shock in my fingers... I then panicked about whether or not it could harm the squigglytiddlypeep. Then I realised I was being stupid because it was only my finger. So yeah... that was my near death experience for the day- on to other things! XD

I was in mothercare today (I'm obsessed with that shop at the moment!) and I bought the squigglytiddlypeep some pretty cool trousers! There's nothing special about them- I just like them a lot. They'll go really well with the green and black hoodie my grandmother has almost finished knitting him. Here's a pic!

Heh, anyways... I'd now go into a huge rant about my mother-type-thing... but I already did that yesterday on one of my LJ accounts, so I don't really see the point in going on and on about it... but gosh, that woman infuriates me sometimes!

This morning I was sitting here innocently eating cheesecake (such yumsome cheesecake...) when suddenly a spider scuttled across Rufus. It was fucking terrifying. To get on to Rufus, he must have had to crawl on me a bit. I don't know where he came from, but I think I need to use my spider spray stuff everywhere. *shudders*

Anyhows, I have nothing interesting to write about... I just needed my blog fix... So hoobletoodledoo!

Baby shizz...

I have just been banned from eating spaghetti bolognese because my two year old half brother could eat it less messily. In my defence, I'm eighteen so only just an adult and I was eating it using just a titanium spork. You'd never think I was about to unleash my spawn unto the world. I'm 20 weeks pregnant, so he will be unleashed within the next 20 weeks or so. Scary thought!

I've started buying the occasional baby thing. In the last week I've bought him some jeans, a grey hoodie with dinosaurs on it and a couple of bibs. It feels weird buying stuff now, but as I'm half way through my pregnancy, I need to be buying things because I don't have much money and I'm terrible at saving. It's strangely fun looking at all the baby clothes, but it's kind of frustrating how much fluffy blue stuff there is. I hate it when baby boys are dressed in fluffy baby-blue stuff. Obviously I wont be able to avoid it completely with my squigglytiddlypeep, but whenever possible he will look cool! It's also frustrating that it's June and as he's due in October, most of the stuff in the shops at the moment isn't going to be suitable because it's all summery and stuff. I hope I'll be able to find a suitable amount of baby clothes by October. =/

I had my 20 week scan a few days ago. Everything was fine and I found out that he's a he! He's rather cute... I got bored last night and made the Fishy thing (pictured above). It's a bit silly but hey ho!

Anyhow... I can't decide whether or not I like this year's big brother. It's obviously better than last year because I've watched three days so far. Last year I got bored after the second episode.

I really can't think of anything else to write at the moment, so hoobletoodledooo! =D

So yeah, I did something big...

I told everyone I'm pregnant (via facebook)... Well, I'm not pregnant via facebook... that would just be weird and impossible but people found out via facebook.

I'm kind of worried about friends forming negative opinions of me and not wanting to be friends anymore, but to be honest I don't really care what people think about it. I think I'm going to avoid facebook for a while to avoid any awkward questions though lol.

At least it's all out in the open now. I'm starting to look pregnant so I don't think I'd have been able to pass it off as getting fat for much longer. I'm so glad I don't have to keep hiding stuff anymore and I no longer have to remember to be careful about what I'm saying.

The squigglytiddlypeep is due on October 19th, so I'm 17 weeks pregnant at the moment. Seeing the scan was amazing and it made it seem so real (in a good way). I have another scan in a couple of weeks and I can't wait!

Yes, it was the result of a drunken accident, but I don't regret it one bit. I love it even though it isn't born yet and it's amazing. Kind of worried about October though- I'm still traumatised from when my mum gave birth to my half brother... it must be a lot more scary when it's actually happening to me... I'm actually quite excited though! =]

So that's the full(ish) story.

Hoobletoodledoo.