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I'm terrible at this whole being a mother thingy. Isaac is in the hospital and I'm not even there with him. He's not alone though... my grandmother is staying there with him. I really want to be there with him, but I could feel myself getting slightly panicky at the thought of staying overnight...Probably because I have bad memories of the ward he is on and the fact that I hate hospitals and can't make myself talk to people there. I still have a chest infection and am coughing quite a lot. I don't think people can catch stuff off me anymore though... but I didn't want to risk spreading germs into a hospital. I need to get some sleep too... Meep. I shouldn't even be trying to justify not staying with him. I should have stayed there, end of.

He seems fine now. Why couldn't they just let him go home? My grandparents house is about a 3 minute drive from the hospital.

I'm rather pissed off. I'm pissed off because I'm not with him, because he has to stay there and because they spelled his first AND last name wrong on things.

Meep. I miss him.

proudblog

I know I said I wasn't going to write about boring things anymore, but I'm having an omgi'msoeffingproudofstan moment, so decided I'd be all bloggy and stuff!

I just spoke on the phone to the health visitor (the new one) that I've never met before. I even spoke to the other health visitor yesterday, but I've met her before so even though it was a big deal for me then, this is fucking massive for me! I didn't freak out. I held a conversation. I only answered my phone because it's ringing was annoying me. But yeah, this was the first time ever that I've been brave enough to speak to someone that I don't know on the phone. Usually I refuse to speak to anyone that isn't my mother or a grandparent. Heh, yeah... WOOOSHHHH!! =D *does whatever proud people do* I seriously feel like a fucking lion!

Ooohh, I'm also proud because I also managed to look after Isaac last night when I felt like crap in every way possible! He was a surprisingly good boy though... I think he's probably sleeping more than usual because he caught my lurgy though. =/

 My grandmother is coming out of hospital today. I'm slightly pissed off at her because she was supposed to stay there for 5 days and be all quarantineified because apparently after her operation, she was like a zillion times more likely to get infections or something. She managed to talk them round to letting her out today though. Personally I think that's rather stupid of her, but she doesn't listen to anyone! Yeah, if I was in her position I would probably have done the same because hospitals suck, but mooo- it's still stupid! >.<

Hoobletoodledoo!

Sensibleness!

I know this is probably pretty obvious stuff to most people... but I feel rather clever for thinking of it. It'll probably end up saving me a lot of money!

Instead of typing stuff like this whilst online, if I type it all offline (like I am currently doing) and only go online to actually post it, I'll be using up a lot less time and shizz on my mobile broadbandy thingy and hopefully I'll have to top it up less often.

A lot of time I spend on the internet (apart from when I'm on facebook, twitter or various forums) just involes reading random crap... So if I open a page that has a lot of stuff I wanna read on it, I'll just disconnect for the amount of time it takes to read it all. Clever, innit! =D

Sometimes if Isaac is whingey, the only thing I have found that will actually calm him down is playing him the video of Common People by Pulp (yes, I have a fucking awesome baby!)... So I now have the video (on youtube) constantly open in a tab, so whenever he gets whingey I can play it straight away without having to go online.

So yes, as a person who is used to being online pretty much constantly and never going offline, I'm pretty impressed with myself! XD

I'm also pretty impressed with myself because I've been washing things quite soon after using them. I've also constantly had at least three super-clean bottles in the steriliser, so he hasn't had to wait long if he wants a bottle and I haven't prepared one... I even have an emergency supply of ready-made milky shizz in the cupboard in case I don't have time to boil water, let it cool down and mix the powder stuff into it. I'm so fucking organized! The flat is messy, but stuff is clean. I've managed to go through a whole bottle of dettol since last night. I even made myself food last night. Yeah, it tasted like shite (twas cheap asda macaroni cheese shizz that I probably cooked wrong) and I didn't eat all of it because it was gross, but I still made it!

Last night was my first full night alone in the flat with Isaac. We had a half-night here last week, but we ended up going to my grandparents house in the middle of the night because Isaac was crying a lot and wouldn't shut up and I didn't know what to do with him (turned out he was constipated). We then spent two nights here when my mother decided to stay with us. I think I coped pretty well with him last night. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's still a dirty nappy (peed not pooped) on my bedroom floor and Isaac is wearing a terrible looking outfit (because I couldn't figure out how to put his dungarees on him), but he's still alive! He seems pretty happy and stuff. He's asleep now, so I can tidy up and whatnot... Maybe I'll make lunch or something.

Heh, it feels so weird having to look after both myself and another human and also having to clean things and be all grown up! XD