Shreddingness!

Today I did something big... Really big. It may not seem like a big thing, but to me it was huge. It conjured up a rainbow of emotionalness and being the hormonal, pregnant person that I am, it very nearly made me cry a few times (but it didn't... I don't do crying! :P)

I have been writing diaries since I was 11 years old... Just after I started high school (or secondary school or whatever people call it these days). As I had been documenting most days of my life for that long, I had a large drawer full of notebooks. Many, many notebooks... Beautiful, hoobacious notebooks full of memories.

I shredded each and every one of them.















I spent at least six hours shredding things. Seven years of my life, shredded in six hours... It's pretty amazing when I think of it like that!

The feeling you get when shredding things is immensely powerful. Not many things can be compared to it. My shredder is my new best friend.

Some of the notebooks were particularly hard to shred. Not because they were made out of a hard material (with those ones, I just ripped out the innards and shredded them), but because they had really important memories in them. Not good memories, just big memories. It was the only documentation of my actual thoughts as things were happening. A lot of it was exceedingly hard to read. Some of it was actually quite terrifying to read. I knew that as I get older, they would just become harder and harder for me to read.

All the memories are now gone (well, all the documentation of the memories). Both the good and the bad. It's weird how the really bad memories were hoobloads harder to shred than the really good ones... I guess with good memories, there's not really much to think about so they're easier to remember the important details of.

I didn't flick through/shred them in any particular order, but I definitely noticed myself growing up as they became more recent. It was quite interesting to me. I learned so much about myself!

Flicking through the books made me realise that shredding everything was probably the best thing to do because keeping the diaries is kind of like holding onto the past. I just want to move forward with my life and forget about the past. Obtaining numerous papercuts and jamming my finger between the shreddy thing and the bin thing underneath it was definitely worth it. =]