PANCAKEDAYBLOG

DAMMIT! I forgot to take pictures of my pancakes! I wish I was still vegan because I think vegan pancakes taste better! Even so, it was nice having someone else make me pancakes. My grandmother did it for me. She got a pretty nasty burn from the fryingpan though... but the pancakes were exceedingly yumsome even though Polly puked half way through the making of them. Gosh, I love pancake day. I think I'm going to give up crisps for Lent... even though I don't believe in Christian stuff.

I hate JLS, but I found out that if you sing Beat Again to Ike, he laughs his head off. It's hilarious! XD I love it when he laughs! =]

Meep, I have stuff to do, so I'm not going to write anything else here today. Hoobletoodledoo!

Whingeywhinge.

I'm so fucking miserable recently. There are many reasons... but tonight I decided I'd have a moan because of how fucking gross my body has become.

I hated how I looked before I was pregnant. Now I would do absolutely anything to look like that again. I can't believe I thought I was really fat. I keep looking at old pictures and getting really pissed off at myself. I'm never going to look like that again. I hated how I looked, but I looked hoobloads better than I do now.

Now I weigh probably more than a stone heavier than I did pre-pregnancy. I am actually fat now. I'm covered in stretchmarks (they're literally everywhere apart from like my face). On top of being fat, my belly is dead flabby and horrible and it's a weird shape. I have to wear belly-restricting granny knickers if I want to look vaguely normal. I'm a complete fucking freakshow. >.<

When I was pregnant I knew I was getting bigger, but just thought 'hey- doesn't everyone get bigger when they're pregnant?'. I got too big. I know I didn't have a small baby, but there's no excuse for how big I got. I put on weight everywhere. There's no fucking excuse for how fat my arms and legs have become. I could see the stretchmarks getting worse and worse, but it didn't really bother me because I thought it would all be over soon and it wouldn't bother me once I'd had the baby. How fucking wrong was I? Now I look so grotesque I can't even look at myself. I would have taken a picture of my belly to prove how fucking vile it is. It's not just fat, it's saggy. I'm like a fucking OAP! Because I don't have a picture of my belly, here's a picture of how my belly was getting bigger when I was pregnant:

 

Right, so you see the progression of the bigness, yes? To get an idea of how my belly looks now, imagine popping my october belly with a pin and looking at the deflated, saggy, stretchmarked flump of vileness. Yes, it's that bad. There's no fucking way I'm ever going to get to how I used to look. As I thought I was really fat before, it's pretty obvious I'm never going to look like that again and I fucking hate it. I hate everything about myself. Message to every female in the world: Never get pregnant. It turns you into a monster. Like yeah, I love Ike more than anything in the world and I wouldn't do anything to change having him, but I would do absolutely anything in the whole fucking world to change how I look. >.<

Heh, you've probably had enough of my moaningness, so I'm going to fuck off and get drunk.

First post for a while.

I haven't blogged for a while. Not because I have nothing to blog about- I just can't bring myself to blog about most of it... not even in my secret blog. The other stuff that I think of to blog about just isn't interesting enough in my opinion. It's stuff I'd usually blog about, but can't anymore because I'm afraid it'll just make me look stupid or whatever. Meep- I think I'm just going to blog about whatever I feel like blogging from now on, regardless of whether or not it makes me look boring or dumb. It feels like I'm abandoning my poor bloggywog. It's time to stop, blog and... stuff. So here goes:

I don't have anything specific I want to blog about today. I guess I'll just write about alcohol or something. I drink every night. Last night I decided to give not drinking a go to see if it made stuff any better. It didn't. It made absolutely no difference whatsoever, so I think tonight I'll drink alcomahol again. Recently I've got quite into drinking wine- specifically rosé. I didn't even like wine before a few weeks ago. I think I'm just getting old and sophisticated!

I'm bored of writing about alcohol now. So in other news... erm... I managed to get a lip bar through my lip. I know it doesn't sound like an exciting thing, but it had almost closed up and stuff. So yeah, it's fucking awesome!

I think I'll blog again later when I actually have something to write about! :P

Oh, and Ike now has His own blog.

Forgetfulness.

Today the most embarrassing thing happened. My cousin (who I see on a regular basis) briefly came to my flat, I opened the door and had absolutely no idea who she was. It wasn't just a case of not remembering someone's name. It was like I'd never seen her before in my life. I got really confused and for a moment acted all awkward and weird like I usually do around strangers. Luckily I realised who she was a couple of minutes later and came out with 'shouldn't you be in school today?'... Which is a totally un-me thing to say. It was so fucking weird. =/ Kinda funny looking back at it though...

And that's all I have to say for now. I'll probably blog again later about something pointless. Bye.

Guitarishness.

This year I made a few new years resolutions. There are only two I'm determined to stick to though- losing weight and playing my guitar every day.

For the last couple of years I haven't really played the guitar much. I think I've become kind of crap at it. I need to get better. I used to find playing the guitar really relaxing and it was one of the few things I really enjoyed. I have three guitars and they're all just kind of sitting around... it seems kind of pointless having them if I don't play them. At the moment they're just kind of decorations. That will change. I'm going to play guitar every day. I really need to get my plectrums, my amp, my pedals and Sid (my oldest guitar) from my grandparentals house. I need to improve... Especially because I want to start teaching Ike to play guitar from whenever he's old enough to actually hold one. I'm considering getting in touch with my old guitar teacher and seeing if I can get lessons off him again. In my opinion he's better at guitar than pretty much anyone in any band I know of. I wouldn't want anyone else teaching me guitarishness. Anyhow, that's basically all. I'm going to stick to this resolution no matter what. =]

SNOWBLOG!

I hate that there's snow pretty much all over the UK apart from here. Yesterday I was stranded in my grandparentals house because of the snow, but it was pretty much gone by this morning.

Where I live was apparently snowless. Still is. I was expecting the steps outside my front door to at least be a bit icy, but nopes- nothing!

Last night I made a tiny snowman on my grandparents car. He was called Smokey. He was awesome. That was the most fun I had in the snow yesterday. I couldn't persuade anyone to go out and play in the snow with me. It sucked. At times like that, I really wish Ike was a couple of years older! 

Snow is my favourite kind of weather. I feel like I'm missing out on it by living here. I'm considering moving to Newcastle or somewhere close to there just for the snow. I have lots of family people who live there, and they seem to always get snow. 

Anyhow, I hope you like Smokey. He's not very impressive, but I loved him... until he melted...

Hairblog.

On Christmas eve in the pub I was told by a guy (who happened to be bald) that my hair was outrageous. At least I have hair!

I don't care if my hair is outrageous. I love my hair and that's all that matters. Normal hair just isn't me. Whenever I have normal coloured hair, I don't feel like myself and I hate it. One of my new years resolutions is to not dye my hair a natural colour under any circumstances. Since I was 16, the only times I have dyed my hair a natural looking colour is when I was in sixth form and I had to have a natural hair colour and when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant, the only reason I dyed my hair brown was because people kept telling me that it would go weird when pregnant and because I'd heard bad things about dying hair when pregnant and decided to dye it brown so I wouldn't have to keep fixing the roots. By I was eight months pregnant, I got really fed up of it and dyed it pink. It's now really light blonde, pink, green and yellow. It makes me laugh when people diss it. In fact, I love it when it happens! It makes me proud to have controversial hair... Is that weird? People compliment it more than diss it anyway. I love the fact that it's no longer all dry and stuff. I'm not sure how that happened. It used to be horrible from bleaching it so much!

Anyhow, I can't think of anything else to say about hair. I'm not even sure why I had a huge urge to write about hair, but hey ho! On to other things...

Last night (new years eve), I had a party in my 'flat'. It was awesome! There was hoobloads of alcohol and everyone (apart from two people) got rather drunk. There's even quite a lot of alcohol left over. Not sure what to do with it. There's quite a lot of beer left and I don't generally drink beer because I don't like it. Maybe I'll have a can every night for a few nights to try and make myself like it. I feel odd not liking beer. Everyone else seems to like it. Ooohh, absinthe mixed with lemonade is fucking amazing by the way! But yes, it was a rather awesome night. We made muffins at like 2am, had a lot of interesting (well, drunken) conversations and did general drunk things. =]

I'm going to go and watch Fight Club now. Then I'm going to sleep. I think I need to sleep even though I already slept for a few hours in the afternoon/evening. Byebye.