re-wind

Hmm... my life seem to have gone back in time a few years. I have a social life, I'm pretty much completely living with the grandparents and I'm going back to school in September. I should be happy about all this because I guess It means I'm vaguely getting back on track and stuff... I'm not though. I hate it. I don't want to go back to school and the social life feels wrong. I'm not great at being sociable. I've been out every day this week.

Monday
Went to a party at a friends house. Got completely wasted. My right arm is completely fucked up. Apparently I fell over the hoover.

Tuesday
Strange lack of hangover. Wandered around Bangor with a friend. Sat around in the graveyard a lot and went to Lidl about 400 times. Discovered a strange smell.

Wednesday
Hung out with another friend. Went to Tesco and bought vegan ice-cream. Sat around on a hill. Spent ages pondering what to do. Walked a lot.

Thursday
Hung out with another friend. Went to Matalan. Went to the cinema to see The Dark Knight. Great film.

Was a fun week. Not satisfied though. It's like my life's on re-wind. It's horrible. I NEED to be alone. I NEED to not be going back to school. I NEED to change in a positive way, not go round in a complete circle re-thinging everything that's ever made me miserable. Not everything obviously, but I KNOW I'm better off without school. So many shit memories from that place. Not to mention the fact that I'm going to be a year behind everyone.

I need to lock myself away... Hide... Disappear... but everyone knows I'm in Bangor. It's like I'm pushing myself way too far, trying to convince people I'm fixing everything. I'd rather not fix things if this is the way I'm going to fix them... But I know I'll carry on pushing myself until I completely snap. Heh.

There hasn't been a single day this week where I haven't consumed alcohol... Oops. I guess it makes socializing more bearable though. =/

Meep. Hoobletoodledoo.

stuffff

Hmm... I wonder what my insides look like... Probably rather blue, if I take into consideration all the blue crap I've been eating recently. I like blue things. There's so many different moods the colour blue can create. It's awesome. My ukulele is blue! =]

I can now play 'yes my name is iggle piggle...' on the ukulele. I should be ashamed of this, but quite frankly, I'm strangely proud. I've actually learned something new. I can also play a few other songs (come as you are, daydream believer, ace of spades...) but I just love the fact that I can play the In The Night Garden thing. I know I absolutely loathe that show, but knowing how to play that is awesome because it'll be funny to see how the half-brother reacts. Yes, I admit it - I actually like a member of my family! *shock, horror*

The oddest thing just happened. I went ouside for a fag, and some random person asked me for a lighter... at 3:45am! I'm usually the only person around at this time!

In the last couple of days, I've found a few films I actually really like. I haven't seen a film I actually find interesting for quite some time. Last night I watched 'Stay' which was really, really good. Today I watched 'Cube' and 'Cube 2: hypercube' which were also hoobacious!

Anyways. I'm off to paint. Hoobletoodledoo!

QWERTY FTW

I officially have no life. I am sitting on the sofa watching a shite film and playing QWERTY warriors. I'm getting rather good. I got the highest score today! Woo! Go me! <-- See! I love that game! Incidentally, I just lost the game.

The grandmother didn't tape Casualty for me last night, so I'm going to have to watch it on iplayer, which I'm not too pleased about because I absolutely despise iplayer! Meep. At least it means I still get to see it... I'd hate to be Casualty deprived!

I bought a stylophone on ebay. I can't wait for it to arrive. Stylophones seem rather cool! I'm considering buying a ukulele tomorrow. A blue (or possibly pink) ukulele... because I'm super-cool! *puts on a pair of shades to prove the point* Might buy a violin instead though... but everyone seems to play the violin (although I don't blame them because violins sound beautiful).
The thing is, I want to buy all these instruments and become a street performer of sorts (whilst doing a-levels because I'm sensible) but what I really need to spend my money on is a new camera. My 10 megapixel one got sand in it and broke. =[

I really want to become a street performer though. Being some sort of mime would be hoobacious! There was this dude in Manchester last week, I didn't get a proper look at him but he was on stilts, wearing this super long robe thing and it looked exceedingly creepy in an OHMYGODISOFUCKINGWANTTOBETHATGUY kind of way.

I'm getting people to call me Stan... or stanley. Originally Stan stood for 'smiles thanks and nibbles'. (something about hoobycookies in an msn conversation lol).

Last night me and the dyl were sitting on the top of Bangor mountain and Bangor looked huge in a tiny kind of way. It was beautiful... I was a tad inebriated at the time, but still, It was awesome! I felt like a giant. The world is beautiful, but the people in it are scum.

Anyways, I must dash! Need to watch Casualty on iplayer. Hoobletoodledoo!

meeples

I'm sitting on my bed. A lot has been going on recently. I abandoned Facebook and pretty much every other site. I'm slowly working my way back onto various sites, but it's not the same anymore. I've completely lost interest in stuff. I'm trying to ignore the bad stuff that's happening, but it's too hard. However, if writing this blog will make me 'forget' for another few minutes, it can't be a bad thing. It's something to do and nobody reads this anyway!

I've been trying to keep busy. I made a cake at like 1am. It tastes rather good and has shredded wheat on the top of it! It gave me a weird headache-type-thing after one slice though. Maybe it's a bit rich. I watched The Hoobs, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon and now I'm going to read. I think I'm going to go for Artemis Fowl, because I can't remember what it's about and from what I recall, it was rather good. I need to brush up on reading and stuff before September.

I had my interview for le sixth form yesterday. It went really well. I'm supposed to be starting sixth form in September. I'm going to be doing psychology, art, applied science and sociology. I'm a bit bummed about not being able to have visible piercings though. Ah well, I'll just focus on getting more tattoos over the next couple of years!

My tattoo has scabbed over and is rather itchy. It's so tempting to scratch it and pick at it, but mustn't. 'tis an annoyance.

Right now my bedroom is a mess. It is a graveyard of empty cans that once upon a time contained either Diet Coke or Red Bull. There are empty vodka bottles, empty fag packets, dirty clothes, clean clothes, bits of hamster food, degu poo, DVDs and just about everything else you could possibly think of, strewn randomly across the floor. I really can't be bothered cleaning stuff up.

My hair is equally as messy. I don't mind though. I have this new theory that the longer I forget it exists, the cooler it looks. Right now it hasn't been washed for almost 2 weeks and is sticking up in random ways. It's awesome!

Anyways, I'm bored of this so I'm going to go and write a couple of letters. I'm trying to fix everything as much as possible.

Hoobletoodledoo!

heh

I'm really sleepy in an extremely awake, hyper kind of way. I've had hoobloads of red bull. I have to stay awake for another 2 hours and 20 minutes because that's when I've scheduled to talk to my mum about something pretty important (eep!).

Just after the hoobs, I spent some time making a ridiculous picturey story. It's really silly, but at least it occupied some time. You can find it here... if you're bored enough to bother looking at it!

I'm currently watching Big Brother for like the 4th time so far this series. It's weird, every time I watch it I get really into it, yet I have no desire to watch it every day. In previous years, I've always got too addicted to it.. apart from last year where I watched it about twice.

I was talking to the degus earlier and Morrissey nibbled my nose. Twas hoobaciously cute!

I've not really been writing many blogs recently... no idea where my head's at so everything's a bit jumbled. But meep. lol.

hoobletoodledoo

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4:26am. Once again, I'm awake. I'm tired as fuck. I'd sleep if I could, but I can't. Even if I could, I would probably wait until 7am because whenever I'm awake past 4am (which is pretty much all the time) I feel compelled to stay awake and watch The Hoobs!

I want to go outside for a cigarette. There's a storm though, and as much as I love storms, I had a bath a few hours ago and would rather not get wet again. Although.. If I wore really warm clothes and stood on the doorstep it'd be ok I guess. I'd only be out for a few minutes.

I think I'm actually going to do a 'family thing' today/tomorrow. Might go to Llandudno with the grandparents and 10 year old cousin. I'd rather not, but I've got nothing better to do. Most of my friends are at Wakestock or have something better to do. I need something to do to distract myself from my mind, therefore doing that seems like the way forward!

Oh my golly gosh! I just got exceedingly lost in thought and then I actually ended up saying 'oh my fucking god!' quite loudly because I realised that 'wind' and 'wind' are the same word but pronounced differently mean different things.

I think I should just toddle off outside and stop confusing the world with pointless blog things that probably only make sense to those as bizarre as me.

My first tattoo!!

I just got my first tattoo! It's a heartagram at the top of my back, just under my neck. I absolutely love it! It felt really nice in a strange kind of way. All vibratey and kind of scratchy.. not too scratchy though, kind of like scratching an itch mixed with sunburn.. It felt amazing because it wasn't really painful!

<-- picture of it there! =] ... my neck/shoulders look really weird though because I took the pic in a weird position. Oh, and ignore the cling film! XD

Apart from the getting the tattoo, today has been rather crap. Meep... and there's not much else to say. I might have something to write about later though..

meeples.

Wow. I should be satisfied with everything, but instead I'm unreasonably dissatisfied. I'm not quite sure what's going on in my strange little mind at the moment. It kind of feels like everything's crashing down over my head and penetrating my mind in the most unsavoury manner.

Anyways... I came to the conclusion that Wireless will be shit. The grandmother then decided to offer to buy me a ticket for Wakestock. I'm not entirely sure who's going though. I think I'd rather see my favourite artist and be alone than go to a festival where I might be alone but wander into someone I despise. Meep. Really not sure what to do.

The grandmother persuaded me to go to the doctors today. Apparently I have a trapped nerve in my neck and she also said something about repetitive strain injury. Meep.

I can't sleep. As usual. But I slept for less time than I usually would (which is saying something!) yesterday. I should be able to sleep. I just cant. It sucks. I'm really sleepy too.

I keep accidentally listening to incredibly apt songs.

Not sure what I want to write.

I think I'll go get lots of food and do a spot of comfort eating. =/