re-wind

Hmm... my life seem to have gone back in time a few years. I have a social life, I'm pretty much completely living with the grandparents and I'm going back to school in September. I should be happy about all this because I guess It means I'm vaguely getting back on track and stuff... I'm not though. I hate it. I don't want to go back to school and the social life feels wrong. I'm not great at being sociable. I've been out every day this week.

Monday
Went to a party at a friends house. Got completely wasted. My right arm is completely fucked up. Apparently I fell over the hoover.

Tuesday
Strange lack of hangover. Wandered around Bangor with a friend. Sat around in the graveyard a lot and went to Lidl about 400 times. Discovered a strange smell.

Wednesday
Hung out with another friend. Went to Tesco and bought vegan ice-cream. Sat around on a hill. Spent ages pondering what to do. Walked a lot.

Thursday
Hung out with another friend. Went to Matalan. Went to the cinema to see The Dark Knight. Great film.

Was a fun week. Not satisfied though. It's like my life's on re-wind. It's horrible. I NEED to be alone. I NEED to not be going back to school. I NEED to change in a positive way, not go round in a complete circle re-thinging everything that's ever made me miserable. Not everything obviously, but I KNOW I'm better off without school. So many shit memories from that place. Not to mention the fact that I'm going to be a year behind everyone.

I need to lock myself away... Hide... Disappear... but everyone knows I'm in Bangor. It's like I'm pushing myself way too far, trying to convince people I'm fixing everything. I'd rather not fix things if this is the way I'm going to fix them... But I know I'll carry on pushing myself until I completely snap. Heh.

There hasn't been a single day this week where I haven't consumed alcohol... Oops. I guess it makes socializing more bearable though. =/

Meep. Hoobletoodledoo.