Hello. It's been freakin' ages since I last updated my blog. Mainly because I've had crap all to say that I can actually permit myself to write about. This morning I thought to myself 'fuck it'. I'm going to start writing about shit that I never ever ever blog about because I'm afraid to write about it in case someone I know reads about it. I've realised that I shouldn't be ashamed of any of it, so I'm gonna have a bit of a rant.
In the last like year and a half I've been on so many different tablets (fluoxetine, sertraline, duloxetine (those 3 are ADs so they don't really count in this blog post, I'm just listing things), quetiapine, risperidone and haloperidol) and they're doing fuck all. So the psychiacunt is putting me on Clozapine (I think that's what it's called). I'm pretty scared about it (hence writing about it- if anyone has any experience with taking it, sharing would be most welcome). I'm going to have to have weekly blood tests and for a while when I start taking it I'm going to have to go to hospital for like a few hours a day so they can monitor me or something. The stuff I've read about it sounds pretty scary. I'm really rather scared. I would refuse to take it, but I'm willing to try anything to make stuff go away. If it can fix stuff everything in my life would be a lot easier.
Scary shit has been happening recently. It's not all that different from the scary shit that usually happens, but my son is now inolved in it, so recently every second is an epic struggle. I just want everything to be good for ike. I'm not going to go into detail about stuff, but I'm just going to say that stuff is not hoobygroovy. There's like a paradoxy thing going on and RARRRR. Stuff is a little messed up, so I'm definitely going to try the clozapine.
But yeah, I never post about this stuff, but I'm doing so partly so I can try and get other people's experiences, partly because my grandmother said blogging about it might be therapeutic and partly because I've given up caring about what people think. It feels so weird being so open in my blog, but it feels weirdly good writing about stuff so I'll probably end up writing about this more in future.
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6 comments:
Hi I have been on Clozipine for 14 years and the worst side effect I have is that you drool when you sleep and the blood tests you can live with. It is very good I find that things can and do get better I'm at a place (with a understanding doc)where I'm trying to come off it but it has helped me greatly and would not be in this space if I had never been put on it. I supose its given me the head space to sort my life out.
I'm starting to ramble but there is hope and love your blog I find blogging helps as a release keep it up :-)
Thanks for your reply. It's quite reassuring. =] I hope I don't get any worse side effects than sleepdrooling. =/
Hey there,
I tried Clozapine for a short while, unfortunately it made my blood pressure low and i fainted lots so I had to come off it. But from what I've seen, it can be SO helpful, it really has worked wonders on a lot of people i met in hospital. My only advice is to watch what you eat, because it can cause a bit of weight gain and make you crave carbs. Other than that, I wish you the best of luck and hope it works, just be sure to deal with any needle phobias before commencement! xx
Thanks for your reply too. =] I'm already watching my weight because I've put on a stone and half in the year and a half l've been on quetiapine.
Luckily I don't have a needle phobia (apart from a couple of weeks I was scared of them after almost fainting during a blood takey sesh when I was pregnant).
But yeah, thanks. Once again I've been a bit reassured. =]
Hi.
One of your friends on twitter mentioned this piece and I read it earlier but wanted to talk to Jr to see what he said about them as he was on this a few years back.
Got to say it didn't end up being the best script for him but in terms of bad side effects he had nothing major at all.
Someone else mentioned drooling in their sleep and that was something he mentioned. Also he put on a bit of weight and felt somewhat drousy generally. No blood problems at all but occasional numbness that wasn't too bad.
As I said it didn't work out the right drug for him but in terms of the worrying side of possible side effects he didn't find them too bad.
Hope that his experience is some help and good luck to you.
xxx
I've not been on clozapine, but I'm not getting any help from the various pills I've been trying recently.
But anyways, good luck Stan
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