Revolutionary blog post in Stanland.

Hello. It's been freakin' ages since I last updated my blog. Mainly because I've had crap all to say that I can actually permit myself to write about. This morning I thought to myself 'fuck it'. I'm going to start writing about shit that I never ever ever blog about because I'm afraid to write about it in case someone I know reads about it. I've realised that I shouldn't be ashamed of any of it, so I'm gonna have a bit of a rant.

In the last like year and a half I've been on so many different tablets (fluoxetine, sertraline, duloxetine (those 3 are ADs so they don't really count in this blog post, I'm just listing things), quetiapine, risperidone and haloperidol) and they're doing fuck all. So the psychiacunt is putting me on Clozapine (I think that's what it's called). I'm pretty scared about it (hence writing about it- if anyone has any experience with taking it, sharing would be most welcome). I'm going to have to have weekly blood tests and for a while when I start taking it I'm going to have to go to hospital for like a few hours a day so they can monitor me or something. The stuff I've read about it sounds pretty scary. I'm really rather scared. I would refuse to take it, but I'm willing to try anything to make stuff go away. If it can fix stuff everything in my life would be a lot easier.

Scary shit has been happening recently. It's not all that different from the scary shit that usually happens, but my son is now inolved in it, so recently every second is an epic struggle. I just want everything to be good for ike. I'm not going to go into detail about stuff, but I'm just going to say that stuff is not hoobygroovy. There's like a paradoxy thing going on and RARRRR. Stuff is a little messed up, so I'm definitely going to try the clozapine.

But yeah, I never post about this stuff, but I'm doing so partly so I can try and get other people's experiences, partly because my grandmother said blogging about it might be therapeutic and partly because I've given up caring about what people think. It feels so weird being so open in my blog, but it feels weirdly good writing about stuff so I'll probably end up writing about this more in future.

Zapppp!

I haven't updated this blog for at least a couple of days. I think it's because I have no idea what to write because I can never think of anything interesting to say! So as usual, I might as well just write about random crap!

After my last bit of bloggishness in this blog, I realised that I write wayyy too much about pregnancy and that it's probably really boring to people who aren't pregnant... So I made a pregnancy blog to write pregnancy related shizz in.

Today I went to the cinema with a couple of friends to see The Taking Of Pelham 123. It was awesome. A lot better than I expected it to be. It was really weird though because I don't think I've ever seen John Travolta in anything apart from Grease so I associate him with that. The Taking Of Pelham 123 was probably as far away from Grease (in terms of how alike they are) as it's possible to get! It was weirder than every time Jim Carrey is in a serious film! John Travolta is now really old and stuff too... Really, really old! Yeah, hoobacious film though! It had lots of swearing, action, guns and even the odd amusing moment. There was even a cute little rat! What more could one want in a film than violence and rodents?! =D

I seem to have randomly developed a big fear of needles or blood or something (yes, me with the tattoos and piercings). I have no idea why, but following on from my last post in this blog, I went to the hospital today so they could steal my blood. I was waiting there and I was all sweaty, pale, shaking, terrified and I had that feeling you get just before going all dizzy. When the thing with numbers on it got to number 30 (I was number 31), I totally freaked out and left the hospital. I don't know why this is happening recently, but I have to get my blood taken from me some time in the next four days. =/ Meh. I usually love getting blood taken from me. I think I'm just fucking terrified that the random almost faintingness that happened last time will happen again. Meep.

Ooohhh, this morning I had a letter from the bank informing me that my current account is going to be upgraded to a bank account... Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I already have a bank account! It's an account in the bank. XD I think they mean a proper scary grown up bank account where I can become overdrawn and have a cheque book though.

I have a few more things I could write about if I wanted to, but to be honest I'm getting quite sleepy and I intend to sleep soon, so hoobletoodledoo!