Fucking eurgh.

Eurgh. Sitting in my grandparentals house with a can of diet coke. Blogging because stuff sucks at the moment so I'm blogging about it because once again the grandmother thinks it's a good idea. Pretty certain I don't want everyone I know knowing all this, but not many people will read this anyway and if they do and judge me because of it, they can go fuck themselves.

Stupid shit happened on Tuesday night. Ended up being taken to hospital by the police (my wrist still hurts if I poke it because of the handcuffs) and I got section 136ified. I had to stay until Saturday. I hated it. It was full of people and I have an inability to talk to people I don't know. On top of that, everyone was at least 10 years older than me so it made it even more thinyey. So I stayed on my bed for the entire time apart from the occasional trip to the smoking room and toilet. Didn't eat anything that didn't come in a sealed thing because they were trying to poison me. The place freaked me the fuck out. I'm so glad to be home. Oh yeah and lollol my auntie visited me in hospital and gave me a box of chocolates like I was in there because I was actually ill or somethig lol.

Still have to go to the hospital for a bit every day because of the clozapine, which sucks. Today I spent hours there because my pulse was very high and I ended up having to have an ECG. There was lots of waiting around and I didn't have my fags or phone with me because I didn't expect to be there for as long as I was (3 and a half frickin' hours). And OMG there's this woman from the home treatment team who never shuts up. Hello, do I look like I give a shit about your rabbits?!

Not much has changed since Tuesday night and right now I just want to hide from everything... in like a cupboard or something but I don't have a cupboard so I just have to hide inside my hoodie. The grandmother persuaded me to go to Tesco with her this afternoon. I didn't like it at all. Dunno what I'm gonna do today. Probably gonna have a bath or something later and try not to do anything that'll make me end up in hospital again.

But yeah, that will be all.

Added on bit:

FFS. Just found out that if I drink alcohol at all and they find out  they'll stop the clozapine and I'll end  up back in hospital. It's not fucking fair.  I just want a a vodka and coke. =[