Revolutionary blog post in Stanland.

Hello. It's been freakin' ages since I last updated my blog. Mainly because I've had crap all to say that I can actually permit myself to write about. This morning I thought to myself 'fuck it'. I'm going to start writing about shit that I never ever ever blog about because I'm afraid to write about it in case someone I know reads about it. I've realised that I shouldn't be ashamed of any of it, so I'm gonna have a bit of a rant.

In the last like year and a half I've been on so many different tablets (fluoxetine, sertraline, duloxetine (those 3 are ADs so they don't really count in this blog post, I'm just listing things), quetiapine, risperidone and haloperidol) and they're doing fuck all. So the psychiacunt is putting me on Clozapine (I think that's what it's called). I'm pretty scared about it (hence writing about it- if anyone has any experience with taking it, sharing would be most welcome). I'm going to have to have weekly blood tests and for a while when I start taking it I'm going to have to go to hospital for like a few hours a day so they can monitor me or something. The stuff I've read about it sounds pretty scary. I'm really rather scared. I would refuse to take it, but I'm willing to try anything to make stuff go away. If it can fix stuff everything in my life would be a lot easier.

Scary shit has been happening recently. It's not all that different from the scary shit that usually happens, but my son is now inolved in it, so recently every second is an epic struggle. I just want everything to be good for ike. I'm not going to go into detail about stuff, but I'm just going to say that stuff is not hoobygroovy. There's like a paradoxy thing going on and RARRRR. Stuff is a little messed up, so I'm definitely going to try the clozapine.

But yeah, I never post about this stuff, but I'm doing so partly so I can try and get other people's experiences, partly because my grandmother said blogging about it might be therapeutic and partly because I've given up caring about what people think. It feels so weird being so open in my blog, but it feels weirdly good writing about stuff so I'll probably end up writing about this more in future.

The Love List (and recent news)

A (rather pointless) list of things I love right now... Not including the stuff I alwas love like Isaac, my pets, The Hoobs, Star Trek, Morrissey etc.

1. The fact that spiderman sketti shapes are one of your 5 a day.

2. The gruffalo.

3. Malteasers.

4. Strawberry spock-shakes. (Strawberry milkshake made in a spock glass)

5. Dragonage: Origins... Actually, sexbox in general.

6. Not being hungover.

7. Spraying spray cream into my mouth.

8. Swimming (with special thanks to my rash vest).

9. Poundland.

10. Bollocks. I can't think of any more.

Recent news:

Ike was beatboxing last night. It was hilarious. He's getting really grown up. He understands pretty much everything you say to him. Oh, and he's saying loads of words now. I've taken him swimming (which I've just rediscovered after 8 years) twice in the last couple of weeks and he absolutely hated it both times. He cried the entire time... I guess he'll get used to it though.

Swimming is amazing. I'm so happy I found a solution to my whole lack of being able to go swimming problem. I'm a bit pissed off now though because I have a stupid fucking period and all I wanna do is go swimming... but I can't because of that. Yeah, I could use a tampon, but even that seems effing gross in a swimming pool. =[

And OMFG I went to asda today and I bought sanitry towels without getting someone else to go for them for the first time ever! XD  I feel like a proper grown up.

Erm yeah... away from swimming and periods and swimming and periods.

I don't think I've blogged about this, but my little Morrissey died the other week. He's now buried in the garden. I miss him loads. He was like my best friend. =[

Anyhow... I'm gonna go get Ike ready for bed now. HoobletoodledooO!

The Hate List

Hoobledoop bloggosphere. I know I've abandoned you recently, but I thought this'd be an appropriate place to write a hate list ... because I hate a lot of things right now.

1. The general population of earth-inhabiting fuckers. (List of specific people is currently being written elsewhere where people can't read, get offended and kill off people on my like list one by one.)

2. The overuse of commas.

3. More or less than three dots being used when people try to use an ellipsis. (I would add the overuse of the ellipsis to the list, but I'm guilty of that one :P).

4. The internet being a twat.

5. My habit of spending too much money on alcohol, only to end up severely hungover for an entire day afterwards. Makes drinking seem incredibly pointless.

6. Having to wait epic amounts of time for appointments that are supposed to be at a specific time.

7. Seeing people I know in the shops and having to talk to them.

8. The fact that I have just rediscovered swimming after like 8 years, but can't go because of stoopid twunty periods.

9. Me and Ike having to sleep on the sofa every night because I'm too damn lazy to finish off Ike's room.

10. Getting stuck on sexbox games. 

11.  Spelling checkers not allowing 'hoobledoop',  but allowing 'sexbox' and 'twunty'.

12. Swallowing big tablets.

13. Not being able to see the tv properly if I sit on the floor.

14. People making me panads with nowhere near enough sugar in them.

15. My grandfather's singing voice.

16. The shape of my saggy belly.

17. People who promise things and then don't stick to what they've said.

18. People confusing me with unexpected sarcasm.

19. Getting my hopes up about getting post, but it turning out to be post for previous residents of my house.

20. Skinny people... especially when they're skinny after having a baby!

21. Crotch holes in jeans.

22. Crowded shops.

23. The paint that wont come out of the sleeve of Ike's coolest ACDC top.

24. Not being able to find an outfit that looks good with my awesome leggings.

25. Spending money on things that turn out to be shit. (bought the most vile cheese pasty earlier,  but had to eat it because I couldn't afford to waste money)

26. People dictating to me how I should raise MY son.

I'll add more tomorrow. I may even write a love list. =]

For Purpleyyy.

Quick blog post before I go to sleep... just for the purple one because she seems desperate to read blogs! :P

Humdeeehummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Deedooobedoooo! Blippedybleep. Blop. Pinggggggg! Zap. Drooovaloop, crazolk. Zipppppipppppppppppoppppppppppppppppppp!

That will be all.

=]

temporary post...

HELPPPPPP!!!!!!

Basically, I'm trying to rearrange my living room. Ike keeps taking the CDs off the big CD rack and almost pulling the thing over on himself. So I need to put it somewhere it's unlikely to tip over/somewhere hard for a baby to get to. I've moved it right across the room into a corner, but a) it restricts access to my DVDs and b) it's in front of a pluggy inny place.
So, Here's my living room from 3 different angles:

  So yeah, does anyone have any idea where things should go?

List of important furniture that needs to be in places:
CD rack,

Mildred the sofa (the ugly one).

Sammy the sofa (the sexy one).

Black coffee table thing. 

Ideas would be appreciated!

Weird dream/nightmare/whatever.

Had a really fucking weird and pretty scary dream-type-thing last night.

It was like real life. I basically woke up. Ike was still in bed next to me like he was when I went to sleep. I got him up and dressed and went downstairs. I was completely in control of everything I did and at this point I didn't know I was dreaming. I was just doing general things like I'd do on an average morning. I only found out it was a dream because there was an extra room in my house (which I originally thought was just a room I'd never noticed before) and eventually weird shit started happening in it. When I realised it must be a dream, I spent ages trying to wake myself up. It started with pinching myself and trying to tell myself to wake up. I could feel pain exactly like I would in real life. I kept trying to wake myself up. I was screaming and screaming. I put my entire arm in the fire thing in the new room. It hurt like fuck, but I still didn't wake up. It was futile. I can't remember how I eventually woke up, but I know that when I woke up I had tears all down my face and I wasn't sure if anything was real or it was still a dream.

I've had some weird dreams before, but this was definitely the weirdest night of my life. I hope it never happens again.

xxxxxxxbighugzzzhunniiiiiixxxxxxxxx

Finally, something to blog about!

For years, I've felt extremely uncomfortable with general signs of affection. Everything from hugs to putting Xs at the end of stuff. Yeah, I'll hug anyone when I'm drunk, but when I'm sober it's a different matter.When I'm drunk people tend to think I'm more of a normal, person because of that! XD However, when sober (which, unfortunately is most of the time) I hate hugs and everything. I'd say in real (sober) life I'm kinda like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory when it comes to affection.

People think it's weird that I rarely put Xs at the end of shit online and in texts. There are a couple of people that I force myself to Xify online because I'm afraid it'll result in people being twatty with me and therefore the loss of friends/drinking buddies. I don't know why I hate doing it so much. It just makes me feel way too awkward for my liking.

Anyhow, thanks to the genius of The Purple One, I've come up with a way to do the whole X thing without feeling awkward. Because I hate over the top 'big hugz hunniiiii xxxxxxx <3' shit, I'm gonna do that to everyone at the end of everything for at least 24 hours to see how it goes. Doing the thing I hate in an over the top manner might simultaneously make it highly amusing and make me look less weird. It's gonna be hilarious.

So like, BIG HUGZZZZ MY HUNNEEEEZ! <3<3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. I'm officially a trainee trekkie and I'm becoming a little obsessed with Star Trek! XD