I'm so ashamed of something that happened today. I still feel terrible about it. I'm a horrible, horrible human being and should be shot!
I was sitting on a bench outside nomming a pasty and talking to my grandmother. A man walked past with a dog. Both the man and the dog were wearing bright yellow jackets. The dog was pretty cute. The back of the mans jacket said 'Guide dog' on it. He seemed to glare in my direction, so automatically I reacted. The conversation between me and my grandmother went something like this:
Me: If that guy looks at me like that again, I'll fucking...
Grandmother: Charli! He's blind! Don't be so horrible!
Me: ... Oh... Fuck...
I honestly didn't realise he was blind until it was pointed out to me. I wanted to disappear and the ground to eat me. I really, really hope he didn't hear any of what I said. It should have been obvious to me considering he had what was obviously a guide dog... but because the man was wearing a jacket that said 'Guide dog' on it, I had automatically assumed that he worked for some guide dog company or something and was training the dog. Apparently on the front of his jacket it said he was blind. I didn't see that though because it was in smaller writing and I didn't have my glasses on.
I don't think I've ever been so ashamed of myself in my life. I'm fucking mortified. How could I have been so stupid?! I don't think he heard me though because if he had, I'm guessing he would have reacted in some way... but even if he didn't hear me, I'm still ashamed... not just of my stupidity, but of the way I reacted to a man who was evidently blind. I feel so guilty. From now on I'm going to a) try to react less to random strangers and b) be a lot more observant.
I think there's something vaguely humorous about my story, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. I'm certainly more ashamed than amused though. =/
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2 comments:
Hey dudette don't be so hard on yourself. If someone stares at you in the street or looks at you funny, it's only natural to react, and at the point of your reaction that's what you thought was happening. If you had known the dude was blind and then decided to make fun of him or something, that would be something you could consider being ashamed of, but as far as you knew he was just being a moobface!
Anyone who knows anything about you know you wouldn't be an evil hoob on purpose or without good reason, so put it down to a minor fail for that day and move on, because we know really how much you care about peeps and shizz =]
:13328:
Absolutely agree with the above, I tend to react quickly if I feel someone's staring as well and more often than not it's not actually in a creepy way.
xx
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