Weird dream/nightmare/whatever.

Had a really fucking weird and pretty scary dream-type-thing last night.

It was like real life. I basically woke up. Ike was still in bed next to me like he was when I went to sleep. I got him up and dressed and went downstairs. I was completely in control of everything I did and at this point I didn't know I was dreaming. I was just doing general things like I'd do on an average morning. I only found out it was a dream because there was an extra room in my house (which I originally thought was just a room I'd never noticed before) and eventually weird shit started happening in it. When I realised it must be a dream, I spent ages trying to wake myself up. It started with pinching myself and trying to tell myself to wake up. I could feel pain exactly like I would in real life. I kept trying to wake myself up. I was screaming and screaming. I put my entire arm in the fire thing in the new room. It hurt like fuck, but I still didn't wake up. It was futile. I can't remember how I eventually woke up, but I know that when I woke up I had tears all down my face and I wasn't sure if anything was real or it was still a dream.

I've had some weird dreams before, but this was definitely the weirdest night of my life. I hope it never happens again.

xxxxxxxbighugzzzhunniiiiiixxxxxxxxx

Finally, something to blog about!

For years, I've felt extremely uncomfortable with general signs of affection. Everything from hugs to putting Xs at the end of stuff. Yeah, I'll hug anyone when I'm drunk, but when I'm sober it's a different matter.When I'm drunk people tend to think I'm more of a normal, person because of that! XD However, when sober (which, unfortunately is most of the time) I hate hugs and everything. I'd say in real (sober) life I'm kinda like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory when it comes to affection.

People think it's weird that I rarely put Xs at the end of shit online and in texts. There are a couple of people that I force myself to Xify online because I'm afraid it'll result in people being twatty with me and therefore the loss of friends/drinking buddies. I don't know why I hate doing it so much. It just makes me feel way too awkward for my liking.

Anyhow, thanks to the genius of The Purple One, I've come up with a way to do the whole X thing without feeling awkward. Because I hate over the top 'big hugz hunniiiii xxxxxxx <3' shit, I'm gonna do that to everyone at the end of everything for at least 24 hours to see how it goes. Doing the thing I hate in an over the top manner might simultaneously make it highly amusing and make me look less weird. It's gonna be hilarious.

So like, BIG HUGZZZZ MY HUNNEEEEZ! <3<3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. I'm officially a trainee trekkie and I'm becoming a little obsessed with Star Trek! XD

I baked!

I've been baking... 

I made these: 

A giant, chocolatey cheerio...

The top bit is supposed to say 'Charlotte' in Japanese... #epicfail. The bottom bit says 'SaTAN'. It originally just said 'STAN', but that was boring.

Boring ones...

I then played with the chocolate for a bit. I need to grow up! :P

And yeah, most people reading this probably know about this from twitter. I just thought it was vaguely bloggable about! XD

Oh, and you can find the biscuity recipe here. =]

And just like every time I bake, I must say that I really enjoyed it and I'm going to start baking more often. :P

Bank: The GOOSEFANNY of the clothes shopping world.

Spent ages writing a blog. Deleted it because I'm so fucking pissed off and have to blog about something else.


I went to Bank (the clothes shop, not the HSBC or anything) today. I bought a top. Didn't try it on because I have a thing about changing rooms and never ever ever try stuff on in shops. The size I got was large. I expected it to be baggy on me because yeah, I may be a lot fatter than I used to be, but I'm not exactly massive. I tried it on about half an hour ago. I only just managed to get my arms through the arm thingys and it wouldn't fasten at all. IT WAS NOT FUCKING LARGE! It was tiny. It would probably fit my 11 year old cousin. Usually a medium would fit me quite nicely, but no... large was extremely small on me. Yeah, I'm pissed off at myself for getting so fat, but I'm even more pissed off at Bank. Having sizes like that is the kind of thing that fuels eating disorders and shit. I'm apparently a healthy weight for my height. I know I need to lose weight to be the size I want to be, but the point is that I'm a healthy weight and a large top was too small for me. It's fucking ridiculous. So yeah, I'm a healthy weight yet I'm fat according to this fucking shop. I'm going to boycott Bank (even though they sell awesome shoes). Even if I manage to lose a lot of weight, I'm still going to avoid shopping there. Stupid fucking cunt of a shop! >.<

Anyhow... in other news, I spent over £100 today so I wont be able to afford much food to nom for a while so hopefully that will help me lose weight and become what society (or just twatty shops like Bank) want me to be. At least I have a table and two chairs (hopefully that's enough to accomodate my fat arse) for the garden!

Whoooooooooosssssssssshhhhhhhhh. I'm going to drink some alcomavag.

Ponderings...

I'm not sure how to word this, so bear with me...

I've been trying to work out how people are so open on their blogs. Like there's loads I want to blog and tweet about, but I'm not sure I want the whole world knowing too much shit about me. I don't particularly want people to know, but I want to be able to blog and tweet about it. Make sense? Thought not. So yeah, how the fuck do people manage to be so open about stuff?

Meep. I just want to be able to openly moan about shit! :P

Meh- off to watch Waterloo Road.

Sign on the door of Costa...

WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY SELL THEN?! O_o

And they spelled inconvenience wrong... I think.

Turtle Story: Part One.

The mother watched with amazement as the egg hatched. First a small crack appeared. As the crack grew, out popped a leg. Next, a head. Then came another head. She was sure there was only supposed to be one of those. ‘What the fuck?’ she thought to herself as another head emerged. The rest of the egg popped right off and two more heads appeared along with a couple of weird flappy things coming out of the shell.
She was panicking as she had never encountered such a strange being and was unsure what to make of the ‘monster’ she had created. She started gnawing on the third head until it snapped off. She didn’t like the taste and her mind was spinning around faster than a washing machine when it does that super-fast spinny thing, so she decided to have a cigarette to help her calm down.
She smoked and pondered and suddenly felt a wave of guilt and disgust. How the hell could she have gnawed off the head of her offspring? It just wasn’t normal turtle behaviour. She realised she should love her young thing no matter what. After all, her other eggs had been stolen.
She went back to her nest and put some dettol and a bandage where the head used to be. Hopefully nobody would ever find out her deep, dark secret. With any luck everyone would presume it was born with only four heads. She licked each remaining head and snuggled into their one shell to protect them whilst they all slept. When they awoke, she decided to name each head. She named them (from left to right) Fudu, Jack, Sheldon and Kameko.
As time went by, she realised there was something special about her sons...