pooblog

This morning I thought I'd swallowed my tongue bar (after it not happening for months) and obviously thought of the worst case scenario of my entire digestive system being ripped apart. Needless  to say, the tongue bar turned out to be hiding in my bowl of frosties.

An hour or so later, I actually did end up swallowing it...

...So I bought a new one (for a frickin' tenner). Had it in for an hour or so, and yeah, you guessed it... I swallowed this one.

So now I'm going to watch out for shiny things in my shit. Obviously I'm not going to reuse them. I wonder how long it'll take for me to poo them out. hmmm...

But yeah... poo related bloggage is always funny.

Stage Fright. TMI,

Warning: TMI

The weirdest, silliest thing just happened.

I went to the toilet with the intention of doing a number two. Everything was going normally until I sat down on the toilet seat. As I sat down the baby started moving around a little bit. It made me extremely aware that I wasn't alone in the bathroom. I know he can only see inside my uterus, but it made no difference- I just couldn't do a poo when I was aware of him being so close to me. I wouldn't poo in front of anyone else, so what's so different about him? I know it sounds stupid, but it felt like I was being watched. I sat there for about five minutes unable to poo because it didn't feel right so I gave up and went to blog about it.

I know I'm not going to be able to hold it in until October, but I just couldn't do it. It'll probably be ok next time as long as he's staying still and I'm not thinking about him.

I'm not entirely sure why I decided to share this bit of information with the world, but it made me LOL at myself so I guess it's vaguely worth sharing... Gosh, pregnancy does weird things to your brain! XD

Toilet Origami..

Gosh, it has once again been quite a while since I last updated this.

I was doing a quizzy thing on facebook earlier and one of the questions was 'do you scrunch or fold toilet paper?' and it got me thinking... Why would anyone bother to fold it? It takes more time and effort and is blatantly pointless. It would be ok if someone was going to see the toilet paper, but it's going DOWN THE TOILET not to a tea party. There is no need to make it look aesthetically pleasing, especially when it's going to end up with shit or something on it. It's fucking ridiculous. Origami is fine... but not when you're on the toilet. >.<

And ermm... I can't think of anything else to say apart from that I'll update more often... but I always say that, so pay no attention! :P